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A day ago I almost forgot your smell. 
It lingered on my fingertips and made me sweat. 
Those eyes softened the face, to taste that forgotten smile. 
Remember that heart, that left us frozen between hate and fear. 
I forgot to hold it as it slipped away. 
But you, you stole it straight from the air. 
Like ice-cream it fell into place. 
The lips tasted softer than softness and melted the heat. 
Waving was never easy but felt so great. 
Like Christmas, it hurt.


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The following comments are for "Forgotten touches"
by C.Lynagh

hello stranger!
Nice to read you again. Truth be told, your name tweaked my memory and I had to double check to be sure. Always love it when my memory doesn't flummox me. My heavens! I spelled flummox right without having to look it up! It must be time for me to get back to my writing. Oh! Enough of my blather.

Your poem .. what it did - as I read - is cue me to rhymes that didn't exist. What do I mean? Well, if you're not sure ..

smell - smile .. close enough to catch my eye/mind.
sweat - fear ... the 'ea' letter placement is, to me, a natural poetry connection ... missing the rhyme but .. something is there and then you go on to use heat - great and you slipped in 'easy' too later.
middle of the line almost rhyme - hold .. stole ..

Where you missed the mark .. IMO ... was the 'softer than softness' ,,, wrinkled my nose at that.
However, if you wrote this without realizing all those links were there .. congratulations! If you were exercising your skills and all were intentional ... kudos to you as you are a marvel of practice makes perfect .. almost.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: October 9, 2011 )

No one should feel uncomfortable about being unable to spell flummox, I still have to look it up to see what it means even when I see it used in a sentence. I remember very well the first time i saw the word, in a Drury College advertising class we were required to use it in a short paragraph. I forget what I wrote, but it was something clever about the flu.

( Posted by: veebdosa [Member] On: October 9, 2011 )

Thanks for the kind and constructive words. It has been a very long time since I last posted and it feels good to be sharing again. I aim to definitely keep it up. Respect on using flummox - a word not used enough, irrespective of correct spelling or not.

( Posted by: c.lynagh [Member] On: October 9, 2011 )

Sappy Happy
I don't much care for sappy poetry...but this one possesses a degree of zing

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: October 9, 2011 )

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