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Like shattered glass in the street,
There was a sparkle as our eyes would meet.
So,too,are these shards now like we:
Broken,skattered-useless to be.
Save all the pieces that cut so deep,
Our hearts,our souls,our pain to keep.


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The following comments are for "A Cut Below"
by damifino

Cuttin' Up
This is a very thoughtful piece Dami...heartfelt to say the least. I would only suggest that you break it up like the shards of glass you speak of. Try this:

Like shattered glass
In the street
There was a sparkle
As our eyes would meet
So, too,
Are these shards like we
Broken
Scattered
Useless to be
Save all the pieces
That cut so deep
Our hearts
Our souls
Our pain to keep

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: October 10, 2011 )

Ya know...
That is perfect. Thanks Whipper. Learning how to express myself better is made much easier by thoughtful artists such as yourself.

( Posted by: damifino [Member] On: October 13, 2011 )





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