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I sat on my window ledge
Lazy swirls of smoke
Catching a stray breeze

Committing suicide slowly

Below, the neighborhood children
Laughed and played
Screamed and fought

Skinned knees
Mom please
Canít I stay
Five more minutes

All of them canít wait
To grow up
Nothing beats
Adult power

If they only knew

Their youth slipping away
Like the smoke between
My fingers

Whisking through the trees
Blowing open the book
Of their lives

Suddenly turning the pages
To a thirty-year-old's
Wistful lullaby


------
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'
Lewis Carroll



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Comments

The following comments are for "Tempus Fugit"
by HeRoCoMpLeX

Knock, Knock! Anyone home?
I know I've been a little scarce on the boards of late, but I figured someone would venture an opinion. Was it that bad? If so, tell me so I can make some corrections. Some feedback from my fellow wordslingers would be greatly appreciated!

Love you all!

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: September 15, 2011 )

My Muse
Don't know how I missed this one Dave...most of mine lately have had the same fate...so don't feel left out!!

I really like this one David...it speaks to the heart...and so very true!

Love ya,
Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: September 15, 2011 )

Sorry Dave!
I hit the wrong subject button above, but the comment was all yours!!!

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: September 15, 2011 )

@Bea
Fear not my friend, I know I've been devoloping hermit like tendencies when it comes to being active on Lit, but I'm trying to change that. I'm in the process of reading and commenting on fiction and when I'm done, I'll swing over to poetry and repay your kindness by venturing my humble if well meaning opinion.

Thank you for the kind words on this piece. Honestly, this was one of the poems I've posted I was actually proud of and I was expecting some critques at the very least...alas, it seems I'm not much of a judge when it comes to my own work. LOL!

Bless you,

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: September 18, 2011 )

Tempus
Existential angst hit me at about thirty - most self-realized people go through it. The bad news is that it stays with you 'till the race is over. Perhaps the curse of having too many little gray cells. This is a terrific poem in that what is described is the reason for staying around. The fact that we find a connection to the mundane and then make the decision to find value -or no value, is the grist of a full and honest examination of life. The children are fine - the child in us is fine - the adult in us sometimes just needs to lighten up! Sometimes you get a glimmer and the message is 'This is a pretty good moment I'm in."
Good job!
Ken

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: September 19, 2011 )

Giving Up Smoking
Life is merely a smoke screen...
We live to snuff the butt

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: September 19, 2011 )

@Ken and Whip
Ken,

I really was sitting on the window sill of my third floor apartment having a smoke and looking at the children of my building playing on the slides and swings in the back yard. They ran and joked and played I remember thinking something along the lines of, "I wish I could go back to when my biggest worry was when my turn on the swings was coming up." This piece then proceeded to smack me in the forehead. Still, if not for your advice it probably would not have made the pages of Lit, so thank you. Thank you also for taking the time to give a look see. Stephen King once said that most writers write with a "constant reader" in mind. A person who you "write at", and who you have in mind when you're pondering a particular piece. When it comes to poetry, I always think, "What would Ken put here." I don't know if that's flattering or not, but it was intended to be. I guess it really depends on the quality of the poem... ;)

Whip,

Thanks for the read and comment. A visit from you is high praise indeed!

Much Love to you both,

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: September 20, 2011 )

beautiful...
-i loved the image, & it had me to remember, myself. thanks. -david culver, "rose whispers"

( Posted by: moonrising36109 [Member] On: February 5, 2012 )

@moonrising
As you can see, even if the poem was posted a while back, I still read, consider, and appreciate, every comment given. Thank you for taking the time to read and venture and opinion. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

Much Love,

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: February 6, 2012 )





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