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The lecture chamber was built like a closed concrete ampitheater, cold damp, moldy, and enclosed from the world without. No light arrived but for the torches, which shone noncomittally and shed little light upon the tableau below them. The prisoner was scarcely illumined at all, and he cowered to bring his vanishing act to a close, and become invisible from the prying eyes focused upon him.

"Ladies and gentleman, this poor sod was dragged in from the street. He was stumbling about, drunk because of our recent holiday. He showed little concern for the intrusions my assistants placed on him, or the questions they asked. This was, after all, a day of celebration that could not be interrupted." The man saying all this, tall and stooped, with a commanding visage replete with downturned bushy eyebrows, a hawk nose, and hooded eyes that sparkled occasionally as light hit them, raised his arms high, his robe's sleeves falling to his elbows. "Or so he thought!" the man shouted brashly. "He was forcefully escorted back here, and was made the subject of my newest experimental therapies. These treatments took most of a week, and at times the man's memory was astonishingly trivial in its regard to the line of questioning, but I am convinced that torture can play a much greater role than it does today in police interrogation, if only the results of my study can be published."

"For you see, this man was guilty of crimes beyond the normal scope of our comprehension. He stole, he cheated, he demeaned, he lied. He caroused with hussies while his wife wasted away in the kitchen, left without his attentions, his company, his affection. He is a terrible human being. But worst of all was the sin. He was guilty . . . of eating Reese's Pieces for breakfast!"

The audience recoiled as one, and whispered violently amongst themselves. How could he? How could he have the audacity? Everyone knew Reese's Pieces were meant to be eaten only as an occasional treat, and not as a breakfast staple. Oh, how terrible the fright that man dragged in dragged to the fair enlightened audience. They had come in order to learn the importance of a new means of experimental therapy, and instead of the elucidation that they had sought, they left with uneasiness and wary fear. No one even retained what the respected orator had said following his grand opening motion. How could that man eat Reese's Pieces? How could he?

_______________________________________

I just remember that commercial. The indignation with which the actors said, "Reese's? For breakfast?!" Just kind of amused me, and I thought about if there were any other situations where one could be visibly affronted by a choice in cereal.


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Comments

The following comments are for "We Are Disgusted"
by Washer

I'm hungry now
Reese's pieces? What are they to inspire such an eloquent, richly rendered and wacky..er, piece?
No, really, what are they?

( Posted by: albie [Member] On: July 23, 2003 )

Atlantic Separator . . . Again
There was an Ad campaign run a while ago which advertised for Reese's Pieces cereal. Reese's Pieces are peanut butter candies wrapped in chocolate in the rough shape of a disk - you may recognize them from the film ET. The cereal was basically the flavor of the candy/chocolate in little lumps. And dried out. Tasty . . .

( Posted by: Washer [Member] On: July 23, 2003 )

too funny
i liked it, it was funny. well written too. pulled me in. reese's pieces for breakfast?! LOL those commercials crack me up.

( Posted by: supergranny [Member] On: October 24, 2004 )





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