Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

You didn't have to
come down from the sky
You could have kept your diamonds
too

You're not so much
a waste of skin
You just waste
the skin you're in

What do you wish to hear

I know where the bodies are buried
that I'm the reason
for some of them being there

Is that what you want me to say

or do you need
more seltzer lines
words like pills
so you'll feel better

to continue this passion play

Hypocrisy
you know so well
there's no getting away

from here
it's black curtain
and you can be certain

what awaits
is not what you know

anyway

What more do you want me to say

Each time I said I should go
you said that I should stay

Is that what you wish to hear

You didn't have to hang around
like a lie
You could have stood out
in clear view

You weren't so much
a waste of skin
You just wasted
the skin you're in



3 June 2011

------
below the subliminal
deep within manipulation
that's where tr^th resides

2 Dec 2011






























Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Clear"
by Bobby7L

clear
Good read - loved the Beatle reference.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: June 4, 2011 )

wasting skin
Ken,
Thanks

To veiw accompanying photo and extensive thread, link to my Facebook page here at bio.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 4, 2011 )

Clear
Always good to read you Robert. I remember a time when I would have something for you to read too. Maybe one day soon...

I love the rhyme of curtain and certain, I dont know why but it really struck a cord with me. This one had a very bukowski-ish feel to it. He's one of my favorites.

Much Love,

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

of lies & hypocrisy
i like the succinct lines.There is almost something clinical about them and yet it makes the anger of the speaker more taut and intense. It is as if that someone is not listening and one has to repeat the message repeatedly to get through. Perhaps the speaker also intends the message for himself. Thank you for this...

( Posted by: Shakti [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

suspension of disbelief
Dave,
of going separate ways..our obsessions..and baggage*

Thanks

Shakti,
..like obsolete melancholy

*the four r's- reflection, refraction, regret and redemption

coversational..
As a spoken word poem [could have been posted at poetry], with the weight of its words being heavy, requiring little volume. Accompanied by piano or acoustic guitar, the voice need not be raised too much- though the tone and inflection will at times vary.

Indeed, looking within self is part of communication.

Thanks for perusing

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

LOVE IT!!
you waste the skin you're in! love that line and so glad to see it twice .. this poem really rocks right along making it a delight for this reader.

Paul Simon song .. Diamonds on the soles of her shoes ... always intrigued me more than Lucy in the sky ...

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

clearly
for whome this may be intended (hypothetically or literally) I would say it is clearly -- clear.

"wasting the skin your in" is a great catch line.

The entry line "...come down from the sky" is very effective, sets the theme immediately.

It comes down to expectations in a relationship, explains well the cliche "walking on egg shells" or something like that.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

not obscured
Penelope,
As you well know, a piece can seemingly be speaking directly to an idividual, while also being universal [and introspective]..a micro/macro/micro dynamic. Those listening in bring their own life experience/perception to the communication..

That's a cool Paul Simon song.
Thanks

Brian,
..become free of

"expectations"..indeed

Our attachments, obsessions, baggage, perceptions..

Clearly, on one level, it is [fill in..]..

Thanks for listening in..



( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

Monster lyrics
Very heavy, Dude. Why is this not a hit, Robert. Surely you've shopped it around, Shirley. If not, I hope you do.

Later, charlie

( Posted by: williamhill [Member] On: June 6, 2011 )

Charlie's clearly..
..not wussified.

Charlie,
I just penned this the other day [June 3rd].

Thank you kindly

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 6, 2011 )

Wondering...
Are you aware of the I
that is within the skin?
Do you know where "I" have been,
or what lies beyond, outside the skin?

As usual...I love your work!

-Yetunde

( Posted by: muddybraun [Member] On: June 6, 2011 )

There is no I in we.
Yetunde,
There can be no meaningful communication without introspection.

Telling others what they wish to hear is called politics. Politicians lie to acquire and maintain power.

Poets tell versions of tr^th.

Lovers..? They..{fill in blank}.

Thank you

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 6, 2011 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: