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I've been betting on the back of a pawn shop midget ringing all the bells cause I won't be quiet.
I bang on the barrels in the boom town city
look for the bars where the girls go crazy.
Ride a razor when I should take a cab.
Swing from the rafters with a double flip land
straight in the pot where the big chips stand.
As I fill my pockets with a hundred grand
I think to myself I'm a lucky man, cause I'm

Washboard raised, watermelon thumpin,
bullfrog hunting for a midnight snack.
Barefoot running on the creek bed path;
slingshot humming from a rock attack.

Frog legs poppin on the wood stove grate,
tin roof shining from the full moon light.
Fireflies flashing in the foxtail patch;
porch swing dreaming on a moonstruck night.

Tin ladle dipping I'm a well water sippin
frog leg picking in them backwoods ways.
Polecat running down the barnyard path.
Hound dogs barking as I say goodnight.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Nonsense from my head to yours"
by JackGrady

frog leg pickin'
Cool colloquial versing here - the only thing that boithered me just a little bit was there isn't a subject/object in the last stanza.

I'm a well water sippin'...?
Otherwise having been mostly southern raised I loved it.
Thanks

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: June 2, 2011 )

well-water sippin'
dig it.

good stuff

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 2, 2011 )

singing lyric
I like this kind of free flash pace.

Me?

I'm a store-bought ice tea drinkin'
dried-out old snuff chewin'
gun totin', jeep drivin', dog slappin'
son of a stump jumper.

something like that,

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: June 2, 2011 )

Thanks
Jon, thanks for your comment. I appreciate you taking the time to give me some constructive criticism. Does this sound better, "I'm tin ladle dippin well water sippin"?
Bobby and Brian thanks for your comments I'm glad to hear you got a little enjoyment from it. I thought I'd take a stab at being a bit whimsical.

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: June 3, 2011 )

Well water sippin'
Jack,

I'm from a town nobody's every heard of in Central Arkansas and I'm right there with you.

As I read through this it started to really flow for me and I think you could turn this into a kick ass country song if you tried.

One note to add to the others, I think that in the last stanza you should change "frog leg pickin" to something else because you already used a frog leg reference in the previous stanza. It just kinda clunked in my head when I heard it that second time.

Otherwise, I totally dug this!!! Great work!

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: June 5, 2011 )

Thanks
Dave, Thanks for you comment. I've taken your advice and reworked the first two lines of the last stanza. "I'm tin ladle dippin well water sippin backwood wishin for the hens to lay". Or maybe for the crops to pay. Anyway thanks for taken the time to comment. I'm going to have to get off my lazy butt and reciprocate.

( Posted by: JackGrady [Member] On: June 11, 2011 )

lucky man
Ha! this was fun! enjoyed...

( Posted by: cmsmuse [Member] On: June 11, 2011 )





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