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As blossoming, ripening and maturity of grapes are Sun and Moon dependent, so too perhaps are those very aspects of poetry- the words being like fruit from the vine of experience, ready to breathe; while persistence of poet, as the persistent finish of a fine vintage, is released through opportune representation.

Intoxication may follow consumption of offerings. While the liver may be spared, the heart is another matter.


cadence timed
with past companioned
breath rejoined




29 August 2007
edited
15 May 2011







------
below the subliminal
deep within manipulation
that's where tr^th resides

2 Dec 2011






























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Comments

The following comments are for " Vined and Lined"
by Bobby7L

Intoxicated Heart
I'm not sure about the last stanza. I think the drama of this piece is stronger without it. I'm not sure if I feel that way because I am so in love with the couplet:

"Intoxication may follow consumption of offerings. While the liver may be spared, the heart is another matter."

... or fail to understand the lines that follow.

Anyway, I found the analogy creative.

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

Old Vine Read
re: "last stanza"-
The senryupsyched 3/5/3 continues the metaphorical theme..

"vined and lined"

..like a Montepulciano, from old vine grapes, the fruit of the poet's experience breathes with each line offered.

For taking the time to peruse, much thanks.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

Genius
Very genius to follow a very sensible opinion with a beautiful haiku or maybe senryu.

I agree creation of a poem is like making wine, I just had my heart intoxicated by your poem in the last part.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

old vine red
grazie

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

hmmmm
I should never read the comments before I add my own. I read the last couple of sentences before the haiku/senryu and it gave me pause but because it shifted into humour which I found out of step ... I'd been thinking about the 'best poem' by I can't remember who which was about cherry blossoms at a train station ... or maybe not .. then when I get to the liver I think .. awww .. took me away from happy thoughts ...

when I read Popeye's comment I thought .. ooo .. another opinion ..

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

bread, wine and thine
very nice bobby ;-)

( Posted by: cmsmuse [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

affecting the heart
Penelope,
"humour"..? It was/is not intended to be humorous.

Thanks for the input.


Tina,
Thanks

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

The heartbreak of past love
There are times when I hear a certain song and can tell you who I was with and what we were doing at the time...Tears will fill my eyes at the thought of broken dreams...Nostalgia is sometimes a bitter drink...

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

Kacee's take
indeed

words..never underestimate them

the half-life of our words/actions..along with the association with songs [more words] we attach to those times..

as said in piece above, the heart is another matter.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

Lucie's take
Lucie,
I decided to post this after reading poeteye's piece. In lieu of offering as a comment, I decided to go the opinion route, employing ideas from a vaulted poem, "persistent."

For perusing, thank you.

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 19, 2011 )

fruit and words
I can see words as being fruit on vines, ready for the picking.

I also see our poetic efforts as reason to pick up from the ground some of those fruits that otherwise get ignored. They can make some pretty good wine too.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 21, 2011 )

vintaging
Brian,
good points..indeed

as well: Being Sun and Moon/life-experience dependent, poets require blossoming, ripening and maturity.

thanks



( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 21, 2011 )





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