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Heart Beat

Before you start with my heart
Iíve got truths to impart.
Sweet talk thatís sincere
will come across clear.
Donít be a rude dude
itís not cool to be crude.
You think Iím deserviní
of slippin and swervin?
My heartís got its pride
and wonít go on a ride
in a pimped up car
like some movie star
just to break down
on the mean side of town.
My heart isnít stone
or a demo zone
of bye bye love
so donít push or shove
me into a life
of a slap happy wife.
My heart isnít a fool
for a jumpin jack mule
whoís autograph
is just good for a laugh.
My heart needs its space
in the human race
even golden chains
are freedom feigns.
My heart canít be bought
it holds all Iíve been taught.
Itís not quick to mend
or a slick easy lend
to a jive talkin friend.
My heartís a great deal
but it canít be a steal
for itís worth
is my rite by birth.
My heartís like a book
worth a second look
in the solemn archive
of stayin alive.
My heartís given for free.
Iíll be all I can be
If your eyes truly see
that youíre worthy of me.

Penelope Allen
May 11/2011

"Tigers bloom where there's oodles of room." Zodiac Zoo

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The following comments are for "Song challenge 05"
by Pen

that's one wise heart...enjoyed!

( Posted by: cmsmuse [Member] On: May 13, 2011 )

Rapping away!
That's telling them off go girl! lol

Love the idea and lyrics, but you left out a refrain/bridge. It works as a rap though, if that's what you had in mind!

Great job!

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: May 14, 2011 )

honky-tonk rap

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: May 16, 2011 )

rap city
Hurrah! You caught my drift!

Tina - This was more of a wish than a reality for most young women. ah well .. one lives in hope....

Bea - no refrain and when I double checked the 'rules' it's not required as long as the repeat is there somewhere. So glad you caught the rap ... wasn't sure it worked ...

Bobby - honky-tonk .. is that as in honkey? :-) You know I was thinking about Shania Twain when I wrote this ... too funny!

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

Song challenge
My heartís like a book
worth a second look
in the solemn archive
of stayin alive. - My most favorite part!!!

If I were to compose a melody for this, I'd make it an R&B with the sound of heartbeat as background all throughout the song. Alicia Keys is going to sing it, and I am sure it would be a great hit in the radio.

I love this one Pen.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: May 17, 2011 )

Thanks for your comment .. actually that archive line is one of my favourites too .. that and the slap happy wife ... never understood that saying but like turning the tables on it.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 18, 2011 )

Pen's Challenge
Whew! The form is intense- 'My heart...' as verse break, I don't know that it would sing well as a hook. You might make the distinction in the arrangment with a catchy musical riff between verses - actually I think that would be pretty cool.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: May 19, 2011 )

Thanks for dropping by Ken. This was a tribute to rap and I wasn't thinking so much about melody ... more about the beat which drives rap ... I've been listening to some rap lately .... don't know why ... maybe because what's his name was featured on A&E .. Puff Daddy? The guy who was in that horrid movie Monster's Ball ... with um ... where the hell is my memory today?? Hally Berry! Yes!
Anyhow .. I noticed rap uses rhyme all the time and wanted to shift my lyric POV. I like what Bobby called it ... honky-tonk rap .. pretty much suited where my head was at. Rap - Puff Daddy & Shania Twain ... what a combo!

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 19, 2011 )

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