I bet you have no idea what death is like. No shame in this because most people don't. But to be dead, being a child and given the wrong identity, not once but twice, that has quite the impact. When I died, in physical life, I was a baby, but my sprit lives in infamy, going on forever and never dying. But the bad thing was until I was rightly identified, my spirit wandered through purgatory, me not having an identity, at least my true identity. So for ninety-nine years, my spirit has wandered through purgatory, until now. I have been rightfully identified. The wandering was the hard thing. My spirit just wanted to rest. But it couldn't until my physical remains had a true name.
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Now my spirit can finally rest, after so long. See, I was a passenger aboard the ill fated RMS TITANIC. My problem was in physical life, I was only two, when I died, among fifteen hundred others, that went into the dark watery abyss on that night back in 1912. I was separated from my family, so when they found my body, until now all they could do was guess. Finally because of DNA, something not known of in 1912, they finally got it right. With no true identity, I have been separated from my love ones all these years. When I died the only thing I knew is I was a child. I really could not remember my true identity, but now thanks to DNA, I am back with my loved ones, until I live a physical life again.
I was only nineteen months when I perished aboard the ill-fated Titanic, with my parents. Five days later mu body was pulled from my watery oblivion. A lot of bodies were re-claimed, but identifying them at this time was hard to do. When my body was retrieved because of my blond hair, the rescuers thought I was Swedish. One of the two identties over the years I would acquire. When, I was given this false identity, no one at the timed questioned it. I looked on from my prison in purgatory and my hands were tied. So for years, I was thought to be someone I wasn't. Of coarse, I traveled in third class with my parents, more people died if they were third class because at this point in history, we were thought to be less than first or second class.
I watched as members of the crew of Titanic, played God, stopping first and second class, even at death's door, they stopped us from mingling with first class. Even though I was small I could feel what would later to become known to me as anxiety. The anxiety, others felt as they faced death face to face. You think, how you would feel, facing the ultimate, the ultimate end, death, and a tragic one at that.
My parents had given everything to travel aboard this ill fated ship. The first few days, after we left Southampton, were great. Walking around the ship as my parents carried me. Me, watching as they played games, I was too young to join in. We even had a dining room, just like first class, not as luxurious, but we had one. The first days were absolutely wonderful, and then on that Sunday night, all the fun ended, as so many realized, they were about to meet their maker.
When we struck the ice berg, we were just getting ready to retire for the evening. My mother had already put me in her bunk, as I slept with her. I was startled awake by an unexplained shutter. My father told my mother to stay with me and he would see what was happening. He left the cabin and returned very soon, telling us he was told to dress warmly and go on deck and put us in a life boat. This is when my mother started to panic. For the next almost three hours, we tried to find our way through the crippled ship, trying to get to the deck.
We tried everything to find our way to the deck, aimlessly wandering through the crippled, doomed ship. But to no avail, in the end we would be sent to a dark watery grave, something that no one wanted. We like so many others found no escape from the inevitable known as death.
Searching for our escape, several times we felt the wounded ship, shutter from explosions. Not knowing what was happening, all we could do was pray. Pray for our survival as well as the survival of others, but to no avail. Over the next three hours we would try everything one could think of to try and save ourselves. My father tried everything he could to keep rationally thinking, so he could save us but my mother by this time was hysterical. Not worried for her well being but for mine. Me being only two, she kept saying over and over, I had not yet experienced life. But my father kept reminding her of all the tragedy in life and if I didn't survive, I would be in a better place.'
Before we took our last breath, the water inside the ship kept getting deeper and deeper. The whole time until the very end, the lights kept burning. In a way this was good, but in another way we could clearly see the grasp of death coming closer and closer. Then at the very end, there was a huge explosion near us causing the water to become, even faster. Then the lights went out.
Soon after the lights went out the rising water soon engulfed the whole crippled ship, then the transition from the living to the dead, took place. I was so young, but I knew from the second that occurred, everything from then on would never be the same. My physical remains would be in the cold ocean for five days, until retrieved by some one else, and they gave me the wrong identity, and buried me in the wrong grave, until 2001. Getting the correct permission, they exhumed my physical remains. There was nothing left of me but a few bones and some teeth, but it was enough.
The first time they took DNA, they did not get a match, but they kept searching. They tried one more time, then BINGO! THEY GOT IT RIGHT! I wasn't Swedish, I was English and now I have my try God given name. My name had been Sidney Leslie Goodwin. I had been traveling with my parents Frederick and Augusta, and five siblings from England to Niagara Falls, N.Y. It dawned on me, this was my true identity. None of the rest of my family, their remains were never found.
So, for ninety-nine years my identity was wrong, but now through the science of today I had my true name again. I was no longer lost in oblivion, aimlessly wandering through purgatory. Now I can rest. My short life all through the years was remembered. I watched from a front row seat in purgatory, but now I can rest. After so long I am very tired, now all I can think of is finally peace.