Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
9

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
9Myth

You must login to vote

There are rumors of sky.
Last words of swimmers, fallen
from waves. Limbs unkempt,
sleep-sown hair tossed
over wet, windy, winding sheets.

Swollen eyes, pressure kissed,
or eaten by the curious
fish who want to taste last sights.
Synesthesia, second hand.
Pearls of life melted
on tiny tongues.

A child's game, the rumors pass
from lips to ears to lips,
stirred by convection,
confection, consensus.

"Yes, there is sky. It's where
they make the dead."

------
______________________________________________

I blog irregularly at TinkerX. I'm also on Twitter. @andyhavens, go figure.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Ocean Floor"
by andyhavens

super rich read ...
Wow! This is just so ... utterly .. divine ...
The wrap up is such a mind blowing ... um .. epitaph .. will it be the lesson shared with the fishes when we've vanished?

I gleaned so much from this and I don't know if it's what you meant but that's never the issue ..

totally impressed ... and grateful

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: May 3, 2011 )

view from the bottom
Very intersting "view point" in this. A very strong "this could be possible" idea. I guess only Jacques Cousteau would know for sure.

nice work

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 4, 2011 )

Rumors of sky
I'm very glad that your comment made me cruise over here to find your latest post. I like it more unreservedly than anything you've posted in ages - and you know that I try not to leave vacuous 'I love this!' comments. The absolutely only thing I'd cut is the last 2 lines of stanza 2 (because pearls and tiny tongues are a bit chintzy, and because 'Synesthesia, second hand' is so cool it deserves a pause).

This is really poignant, tightly-written, trippy little poem. It puts me in mind of Coleridge and Lear and all those great children's authors whom you look back on as an adult and think 'Jeez, what were they ON when they wrote that?'

( Posted by: mobiussoul [Member] On: July 21, 2011 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: