Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(2 votes)

RatingRated by
10Nitz Kitty

You must login to vote

So simple was life

till you batted those lashes

as we gasped through

short rapid breaths and

drenched famished bodies.

Cleverly you promised

an eternity of forevers

but your definition of forever was more

short lived than

the time it took to change

the bed sheets and

clear the empty glasses of Bailey’s

from our night stand.

So simple was life till you

Tip toed passed

talks of lust, betrayal and lies

and let my blood clot

before it seeped out

and ruined the

newly purchased linen dress

you made me wear as

you pranced me around

gleaming at your new trophy zombie.

So simple was life till I blinked

and the vision of us

revoked tomorrow

and your way of leaving

became my yesterdays vacant today.

I am on a journey. Looking for Me. Everyday I get a little closer. The more time goes by the more I realize I'm always changing. This journey could take forever... Renae L. Soler

Related Items


The following comments are for "Won't sign in blood"
by nae411

in a blink
good stuff..

glad you're musing..

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

Tori loves Nae
"you pranced me around...
gleaming at your new trophy..."

It reminds me of a time I went shopping with my girlfriend, we came back, I chewed cinnamon gum and things just turned totally irresistible.

and the blood ruining the dress - I used to play period spot - Rorschach pattern with another girlfriend - I scanned them and it's on the blog too!

she was very nice, and Sam craved her and mentioned her name online a lot (Katya).

Your words are so - girlie, and life! Thank Gawd I am a woman, and Nae writing about it.

you are ...yummy!

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

so much to think about
Nae .. this is a riveting read and quite different from your usual poetry. What I noticed - in the third read - was how the spaces between the lines allowed me to digest each 'moment' as if you were contemplating every detail in retrospect.
final line kicks ass .. made me go back and read it again .. and again ... It's not 'better' than your other poetry but when a writer exercises another point of view it shows they've 'grown'.

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

Trophy Zombie
Nae my darling! How did you get my story? You following me? It doesn't always happen quickly...One time it took me 28 years to find out I was being duped...I guess I "zoombied " out...I'm loving this excellent piece...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

Thank you!
Hey Bobby, Yeah I am finally writing some again! I am so happy about that. I think being around and reading you guys is really helping me come back around.

Tori, Being a woman is awesome, some of things we go through not so much but as long as we live, learn and move on then it's all good!

Pen, It is funny how hind sight truly is 20/20. Yes every detail is so sharp in my mind lately. I feel like I am seeing my past in 3D. Thank you for the "final line kicks ass" comment! That made my day!

Kacee, I have been following you around darling! Being duped sucks but boy do we learn SO much from the experience! Thank you for reading!

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

Flowing Juices!
Is this the same Nae that told me when I cajoled her to come back to Lit that she wans't writing any more...didn't have the "Juice" so to speak, in a long time?

Well, my dear're drenched in it as far as I can see!

You've come a long way on your "Journey"...hope you love the ride!

Love ya,

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: April 8, 2011 )

In Blood

have read it a few times, but I can't think of what to comment on. As I've mentioned of some other poems you posted recently, there is a difference in your approach these days. A little bit of a darker edge that is at the same time relevent, and revealing. Keep going, look forward to more poems.

Of course, nicely written, and captures some heavy emotion without being an "emo" piece.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: April 9, 2011 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.