Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8.5

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
8chapter1
9Teflon

You must login to vote

[NOT about Sam the Teflon :-)]


from under my lace
key dropped in rosemary hedge -
quick trysts are yummy.


------
Good things wait for those who know what they are doing


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "La Secrete"
by VickieSALT

quick trysts
Loved it...til I got to that dreaded word. I am beginning to see its constant usage as a running gag that most of us are not privy to. It also lends the (mostly) excellent 'ku an air of writer's blockness - as if your vocabulary were limited, which we clearly know it's not.

Wonder what beautiful word you can replace it with that would wholly sum up the poem.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

syllable economics
think about 1 or 2 syllable words that can work in haikus. The best words are longer: XXX-a-licious, - but I understand it is too crass for me and for the high esthetics of haiku.

I have thought about it extensively when writing haiku, and find nothing that works as the last syllables of a haiku punchline.

in a specific haiku setting, another word of my own favorite idiosyncrasy would work - cuddly -

- and isn't this reserve word actually YUMMY of itself?

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

senryupsyched
of "yummy"..It has levels..from surface to subliminal..

Penning a story within a 5/7/5 or 3/5/3 is challenging. It looks easy on paper.



food porn

flesh peddlers delight
thick bovine cheese swine-fat-stacked
feastiality


Sept 22, 2006
RWG

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

wordsmithing
i think "feastiality" is a great example of succinct syllable usage

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

Yummy

sometimes a poet
seeking true definition
must exclain 'yummy'

sometimes if 'yummy'
appreciation unfolds
true sagacity

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

wow to the masters
Thank you for such YUMMY examples. I have been reading your and Fairplay's (your brother? I deduce) poetry – so virtuosic (sic!) –such enviable sensitivity of English, its rhyme and rhythm!

The artistic forces compel me to make English sconce for breakfast tomorrow. The Zen-like effect will put me in an ambiance conducive to more succinct haiku, gravelly and precise as an English garden.

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

@VickieSALT
Thanks, but my spellins atrocious! I ment 'exclaim' of corse!

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

Ivor. wordsmithing. Mad Hatter.
just go with the flow, sir:

in the manner of Mad Hatter, or my Winnie the Pooh-

"exclain" means
"to exclaim an explanation"
and also,
"to explain an exclamation"

your misspelling is outright yummy!

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 5, 2011 )

her secret
I always wonder about gender use in French. Why is this feminine, and not masculine secret? I think I can guess. Something about the origin of the secret. it's the femininity.

Try again.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: April 20, 2011 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: