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[NOT about Sam the Teflon :-)]

from under my lace
key dropped in rosemary hedge -
quick trysts are yummy.

Good things wait for those who know what they are doing

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The following comments are for "La Secrete"
by VickieSALT

quick trysts
Loved it...til I got to that dreaded word. I am beginning to see its constant usage as a running gag that most of us are not privy to. It also lends the (mostly) excellent 'ku an air of writer's blockness - as if your vocabulary were limited, which we clearly know it's not.

Wonder what beautiful word you can replace it with that would wholly sum up the poem.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

syllable economics
think about 1 or 2 syllable words that can work in haikus. The best words are longer: XXX-a-licious, - but I understand it is too crass for me and for the high esthetics of haiku.

I have thought about it extensively when writing haiku, and find nothing that works as the last syllables of a haiku punchline.

in a specific haiku setting, another word of my own favorite idiosyncrasy would work - cuddly -

- and isn't this reserve word actually YUMMY of itself?

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

of "yummy"..It has levels..from surface to subliminal..

Penning a story within a 5/7/5 or 3/5/3 is challenging. It looks easy on paper.

food porn

flesh peddlers delight
thick bovine cheese swine-fat-stacked

Sept 22, 2006

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

i think "feastiality" is a great example of succinct syllable usage

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )


sometimes a poet
seeking true definition
must exclain 'yummy'

sometimes if 'yummy'
appreciation unfolds
true sagacity

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

wow to the masters
Thank you for such YUMMY examples. I have been reading your and Fairplay's (your brother? I deduce) poetry – so virtuosic (sic!) –such enviable sensitivity of English, its rhyme and rhythm!

The artistic forces compel me to make English sconce for breakfast tomorrow. The Zen-like effect will put me in an ambiance conducive to more succinct haiku, gravelly and precise as an English garden.

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

Thanks, but my spellins atrocious! I ment 'exclaim' of corse!

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 4, 2011 )

Ivor. wordsmithing. Mad Hatter.
just go with the flow, sir:

in the manner of Mad Hatter, or my Winnie the Pooh-

"exclain" means
"to exclaim an explanation"
and also,
"to explain an exclamation"

your misspelling is outright yummy!

( Posted by: VickieSALT [Member] On: April 5, 2011 )

her secret
I always wonder about gender use in French. Why is this feminine, and not masculine secret? I think I can guess. Something about the origin of the secret. it's the femininity.

Try again.

( Posted by: Teflon [Member] On: April 20, 2011 )

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