Sammie - that's Teflon to some of you here - became a gigantic figure in my life as my marriage guided by dreary stifling ideologies came to a yummy end. He was at an impasse in his marriage - where his pretty wife was becoming a boring suburbanite, while he, a free soul, breathing and speaking artistic ideas, started to confuse her and me.
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He taught me a lot about artistic expression, he read to me a lot from great books, even succeeded in making the droll, masculine Le Carré sound like a Victorian poet. Sammie filled me in on music history, and gave an iPod loaded with 82 this from early '80s, because in '82 he started college and I was born.
He took me along on business trips and long weekends to his old stomping grounds in Michigan and Illinois - and I, coming from a closed religious background, fell in love with airports, hotels, his haikus and him.
I am lucky that in my religious seminary- girls' prep school I had great teachers in Art History and English Writing, and that helped me infect Sammie with obvious literary, romantic, sensuous ideas. I wrote haikus but ditched them due to their mediocrity and being self-conscious.
he is the only man, other than my second husband and my brother, who could tolerate my open-minded kindness. We decided to sober up and ground the relationship amicably, for both of our sakes, especially to save his marriage, and remained good friends, loyally in touch, even as he watched me continue exploring life - leaving no stone unturned - dating other men and women - all the while coming to our traditional Monday lunches often joined by my girlfriend.
About December 2009 he had a real tough time with his internet addictions - forums, social networks, and alcohol - and cut out all contact. Reading his quirky writing on the net let me see how addicted he was with me, often confusing me with his wife. I read between the lines and see the stages in his life and his inner world. The Sapphic Psalms that he published on Writing Forums is, of course, a taste and glimpses of me and my world, which he sculpted into rhymes.
And here I find myself reflecting on my life in a similar vein, learning to formulate my world - my love for mature men, artistic women, my confident husband, my older daughter, and twin boys we had in February - its images and sensations - into haikus.
I do feel very much at home at Lit.org - it feels so much like my husband's office - because everyone knows him, and so it is here - I enjoy the place where everyone knows Sammie - it is like enjoying a boyfriend's favorite pub! Yummy!
Good things wait for those who know what they are doing