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pernicious
monster

spoken at birth
uttered through
mothers fangs

closer to earth
than blood

I writhe
about

boorish
love

bluster
to feed

forests and
rock beds
cradle me
when weary

pits of fire
fueled by
dead beasts
warm me through winters

hides of useless
creatures
shade me
during summers

pack-less
I know there are
others

they can find me
day and night
beneath this pen

a monster
earthling
and poet






------
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." Charles Bukowski


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The following comments are for "Monster, earthling and poet"
by pablowilliams

"pernicious"
..Is there a "monster" which is not harmful/hurtful/destructive..?

a monster by degree..?

writ(h)e on

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: March 28, 2011 )

a bit superfluous
..or redundant, was closer to what I was thinking. ..no biggie..After four or five readings, I'm getting comfortable with it..

I love the word "pernicious"..have a senryu-poem with it as title, in the Lit archives.

I read as, "'fueled' by dead beasts"..

"beneath this pen"..interesting POV

enjoyed experience

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: March 28, 2011 )

sublime and sordid
This well-crafted poem is sublime in its personal, sordid beauty. I like your insistence on short lines; That's a technique I'm come to revere highly myself over the years and readings of verse. also, personally(perhaps) we seem to have a bit in common, in certain aspects anyway. remember, we nearly always have duality: capacity for good and for evil, for movement in both directions and sundry other angles. in stanza 8, you might change "fuel by" to "fueled by," if I make a humble suggestion. :) your new literary friend, Sean Lawlor Nelson "All things have a place under the moon as well as the sun." - Elliott Smith, 'little one'

( Posted by: seanspacey [Member] On: October 11, 2014 )

Thanks
Your feedback is appreciated. You caught a typo! Shame on me. Thanks for looking in.

I remain close by.

( Posted by: Pablowilliams [Member] On: October 12, 2014 )





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