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A/N..was trolling through my archives and came across this one I wrote in 2005, in answer to a challenge by Nae. She dared me to write an erotic could I resist!

I accept the challenge
To write erotic
But knowing that
I'm so neurotic
I'd come up with
Something so hypnotic
I'd bore you all
And really perplex
With my nightly routine
Devoid of sex

When I turn off the TV
On the dot of eleven
(What did you expect?
I'm seventy seven!)
Instead of satin sheets
On my bed
I'm curled up in flannel
From my toes to my head
My sexy perfume
I hate to say
Is the pungent fragrance
Of old Ben Gay
My sexy nightgown
Is all the rage
It's sweatpants and tees
Just right for my age

I climb into bed
Face slathered with cream
Hoping to have
A romantic dream
But the climax for me
I'd have to say
Is knowing I woke up
Again the next day!

Grandma Bea

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The following comments are for "Whatever Turns You On!"
by Beatrice Boyle

your erotic poem
Great poem Bea! Your humor is wonderful and you show the ability to laugh at yourself.

cheers, Sandra

( Posted by: sandra [Member] On: March 7, 2011 )

Laughing at life.
Thanks Sandra...I love to laugh at life's absurdities...of which there are so many!

Crying makes my mascara run!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 7, 2011 )

2 Bea Erotic
Delightful and too true!

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: March 7, 2011 )

Knock of Fifty years

Very disappointing.... a life of flannel

That means sex is dead by 77 maybe you should have added another seven the assertion of mortality over divinity

Anyways the days of exchanging body fluids can be rather less attractive than a cup of tea.

Thanks for the look into the Crystal Ball

I still do naked in bed and cotton sheets... but all good things must come to flannel I suppose...

I recently saw a Peirce Morgan interview

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: March 7, 2011 )

Do I...or Don't I??????
Now Eric...Did I just write this for a laugh....or do I....or don't I???????

You'll never know!! One hint...I adore good perfume and wear it 24/7...the down side is...I now have to buy it for myself!!!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 8, 2011 )

Susie Usa's Toilet Water
Ah ha,this Ben Gay stuff may be safe from the chopping block of liberal discontent, and who would imagine that it would be liberals who are tryint at this very minuet to
perfume and toiletriss banned from even selling on the nations market place?

Yes, it is starting in Oregon, and experts say it has an excellent place of passage and enackment, what great damage this would also to to our erotic poetry?

Truth is, nearly all men hate the smell of the stuff, and go to extremes to avoid going into the stink area of all shopping centers. Some consider it a gas attach, and have even been known to roll up all of our car windows if we stop next to any woman under her 50s.

Bring it on, Oregon, we, the attacked, welcome your efforts with welcome arms and wallets and checkbooks, next PLEASE PLEASE

BAN ALL HOUSEHOLE AIR WICKS, fragrance sprays, and though we use it ourselves sometimes, EVEN BAN LYSOL.

I can write something else into my erotica, but get the EAU de STINKBOMB OUT!

Let Susie Usa smell like a real woman and Grandma smell like Grandma.

( Posted by: veebdosa [Member] On: March 8, 2011 )

Oh! Canada #6
well .. this one does mention unmentionables .. so ...

I should mention those northern stars
who twinkle in LA hot spots and bars.
Whether dim or bright
long past or last night
we know they wear maple leaf drawers. [peignoirs]

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: March 8, 2011 )

Veeb vs. perfume!
Sorry Veeb...but all the men I've known, (even women) have always complimented me whenever I wore perfume!

The secret, is not to drown yourself in it, but lightly spray it on pulse points. Toilet Water...a lighter version of a scent is worn during the day, and actual perfume should be reserved for evening wear.

My husband loved my perfume and I never bought a bottle for myself, until after he was a very emotional moment by the way!

Now you know what to buy me for Christmas!!! lol


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 8, 2011 )

Bea and Lucie
Oh Bea you are such a hoot! I remember the challenge and remember how you made me laugh! I adore you Miss Bea! This is simply wonderful!

Now dearest Lucie, you do write it/ have written it so to challenge you would've been futile! BUT if you are up for another I will be very happy to read your sexiness! GO FOR IT!

Nae ;0)

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: March 8, 2011 )

Sexy Grandma !
Thanks Nae...I'd almost forgotten I wrote it.

Thought it was worth repeating for a chuckle or two! Still have a couple of baby dolls left over from the 60's...just in case!!! lol

Love ya back!

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 9, 2011 )

Bea started a Sexy thread

Wham Bam thank-you mam.... (I stole that)

Extramarital is for the DIY man
who is no use with his hands
Cant quite tell the real truth
or stick to the other-half plans

Extramarital for her I'm told
I know this might sound silly
Just a case of digging for gold
or fed up of the husbands willie

Extramarital for the single guy
is what some may call safe sexed
He cant get hooked she's married
but scared of the husband he vexed

Extramarital for the single girl
means she is at the end of her wit
Like the public toilets downtown
singlies are engaged or full of shit

Once you go offtrack
There is no going back (I "almost" stole that)

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: March 9, 2011 )

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