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When I die, I do not want to be buried in the ground for my panicked, living flesh retches at its sentimentality. I shudder imagining myself trapped in a desperate box, dark-carved wood - solid as hell; my arms all stiff not wanting to budge even for a second, not even to reach for the skies; worms feasting on my putrid body; fat stubborn maggots crawling my eyes; sand in my fingers; water seeping in lightly tickling my feet; water the color of blood.
Here, now, in the middle of the night a cobbled thought was born: I do not want to be buried on this godforsaken ground. I'd rather burn and have my ashes scattered all over the seven seas under that awning I call the sky; where I would feel free; thin as air, liberated; not dreadfully trapped.

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The following comments are for "Blackbird"
by weepingwillow

Sleep
I cannot help that the reality of this situation is in this lifetime, but this owes little to the poetic value of the writing. Rather, no coffin or other confines could last forever, nor can this planet, not can humanity as we know it.

Get right with Jesus would be appropriate for most of us, and I, for one, can not seperate death from Jesus. For others Allah has a few virgins if you enter the right door in the right way.

If no Jesus, I would welcome years and years of sleep through everyone else's misery. LOL

( Posted by: VeeBdosa [Member] On: March 3, 2011 )

Black Bird
I enjoyed this - reflection on the uncomfortable and inevitable. I see this letter writing form of written presentation often from spoken word poets - I would love to see it in a poetic form. It would appeal to a wider audience.

thanks

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: March 4, 2011 )

Peering into the end of it all
*inhale*...*exhale*....

Enjoyed.

( Posted by: pablowilliams [Member] On: March 5, 2011 )

Oh Dear Buried or Burnt





Graveyards are getting overcrowded I suppose
where they plant new one now God only knows ?
Those wanting body parts will have to be quick
in the crematorium they are getting quite slick

Then spreading those ashes could be some fun
knowing which way the tides and winds will run
As more people die and the good places get fewer
you might end up getting flushed down the sewer

The seas turn to clouds, clouds back into water
to be drank by animals maybe even your daughter
So to be burned when you’re dead could be crass
if you still find yourself exiting some bodies ass

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: March 5, 2011 )

my insecurities...
thanks to all for checking this out. i was away for a while and coming back to this site was kind of a stuggle due to the fact that i always feel insecure reading a bunch of talented people's work here. i always find myself lost as to what i should write next. i am back, though. still trying to find myself as a writer.
johnpenny, i agree with you. i think this would be better if this was written in a poetic form. a friend told me that a week ago when i showed this to him. i am thinking of redoing this to see if it would make any difference.
again, thanks to all for the comments and for taking the time to glance at this. greatly appreciated.

( Posted by: weepingwillow [Member] On: March 6, 2011 )

awesome lucie
you just made my day, lucie. thank you, ad infinitum. this means so much to me. now let me go on and write something else since i have that giddy feeling inside me right now. thanks for being a sweetheart.

( Posted by: weepingwillow [Member] On: March 6, 2011 )

Real test?
well, I have been told by a very wise poet that the true test of nearly any poem is if you put it into block text form, that is, one simple paragraph, and it still reads out or sounds like a real poem, then you have a winner.

I have tried this many times, and it almost always rings true.

( Posted by: veebdosa [Member] On: March 6, 2011 )

Hi Willow.
Hi Willow...one of the things that I love best about Lit, is that it is a learning center for ALL would be poets, to learn from the best...and miracle of miracles...the best are so willing to teach us!

That is of course...if you are willing to learn.

So keep writing and learning...insecurites are left at the door here.

Bea

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 6, 2011 )

not dreadfully trapped
Good to read you again, Willow. Was thinking of an extended lit vacation but your PM brought me back.

You have a magical muse. Everything I've read from you has been evocative, be it poem or blog. A true poet, indeed.

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: March 9, 2011 )

back to writing
Bea, thanks for the kind words. And I agree with you that this is a great place to hone our writing skills. I am glad to be back again after a long hiatus. Thanks for stopping by and for taking the time to comment.

( Posted by: weepingwillow [Member] On: March 9, 2011 )

master writer
glad to see you back from your vacation. like i said before, you are one of my favorite writers on LIT. your work is a constant amazement to me. thank you for being an inspiration.

( Posted by: weepingwillow [Member] On: March 9, 2011 )

connection
I love how the content connect with the title in an inspiring way. Beautiful ...

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: March 10, 2011 )

Writer/Poet?
A theme makes writers earn their pay,
while poets only write to play.
Your theme excels and shares your soul,
if written words are your true goal.

A challenge now I make to you
let poet's heart and rhythm too
enhance the theme your tale to tell,
I'm sure your muse will help as well!

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: April 23, 2011 )





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