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I am working on the assembly line,
Sweating like hell,
Losing all sense of time.
Smells like manure
All around me,
People smoking and swearing,
Hoping that their work
Sets them free,
To pay their taxes,
To pay the rent,
To party and find happiness,
I am like them,
I must confess,
Though, my hands are always dirty,
And my heart is full of stress,
Still this work makes me real money,
So I work hard, I don't mind.
Doing the same thing,
Day after day,
On the assembly line,
Doing the same thing,
Everyday, everytime,
Yes, I am a happy man
Working on the assembly line.

The assembly line.
My assembly line.

------
Ronald Peter Ciras


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Comments

The following comments are for "Assembly line"
by moroccanron

Poor Beggar


I suppose some poor beggar has to do it......

I think the feeling of monotony comes through well in this

Eric

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: February 23, 2011 )

Assembled, all
A very strong theme you have here. The rhyme isn't always clear, I think because of the structure. I suggest trying to arrange it into couplets, with longer lines. It will seem more compact and the rhymes will stand out and should serve to make the theme that much stonger.

Nice work

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: February 23, 2011 )

mantra
Kind of reads like he's trying to convince himself. I enjoyed this a lot. I think there should be a whole lot more written about work/labour ... yada .. yada .. yada .. so .. thanks!


I might even write a sestina on this topic! Cool idea ..

( Posted by: Pen [Member] On: February 24, 2011 )





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