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late evenings
planes pass
per sked

science of sleep
eludes me
so I peruse the dark
searching for words
that bustled prior
vapid and lonely

while all others
sleep
my existence
closes

instantly
chains fall
windows break
tires screech

a dream ensues


-pablowilliams 1/2/11






------
"Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead." Charles Bukowski


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The following comments are for "01:00 hours"
by pablowilliams

transcending the mundane
Abel,
enjoyed ride..


salute

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: February 13, 2011 )

Nightmare


When I was a kid it was stuff under the bed I was concerned about...... pulling the covers over my head protected me..... Bit like an Ostrich burying its head in the sand.

Insomnia then dreams from Hell..what a Nightmare

Eric

( Posted by: Fairplay [Member] On: February 13, 2011 )

Closing existence
I've always loved that moment of clarity just before sleep or full wakefulness. I've found I think of the most random things, making sense of them without the clouded judgement that comes with being fully awake.

I've come up with some interesting ideas during such times.

Your poem perfectly conveys that moment that we're never truly aware of: Falling asleep. It does creep in on cat feet, eh?

( Posted by: toscano [Member] On: February 14, 2011 )

Toscano
Lucie- Thanks for stopping in and giving this a read- appreciated, as always.

Toscano- You nailed it my friend! That moment right before you collapse into dream/nightmare; as if you are already asleep, dreaming and are conscious of it. Creepy, creepy indeed- close to death, I would say....

Thank you all for giving this a chance!

( Posted by: pablowilliams [Member] On: February 14, 2011 )

Well-captured
I'm way too literal. In my mind, the poet was driving.

:O

I echo Francisco's comments. A difficult experience to capture and you did it well.

( Posted by: manatee [Member] On: February 16, 2011 )

nite thoughts
Nicely penned - everything I write comes to me at night. Getting up all the time and writing down
morpheus inspired words and thoughts can make for sluggish daytime hours. Enjoyed!

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: February 16, 2011 )

fellow trouveurs
Mantee- you offer a diffrent perspective; I like it! Thank you.

Ken- "The muses are heard"

Thank you both.

( Posted by: pablowilliams [Member] On: February 16, 2011 )

the dream moment
the moment a dream begins, or at least the part the dreamer remembers,

windows breaking and tires screeching,

I've had those dreams.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: February 16, 2011 )





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