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You wouldn't even notice
the ringing in your ears
for the rabble, the humdrum
of each tiresome day
and the souls who cloud it.

But in the eerie stillness of night,
there it forms the soundtrack
(along with each lone breath)
to the sorrow, angst, the anxiety and tedium
that clouds your mind and
keeps you from escaping to sleep.

Even then your mind betrays you-
Habituation makes white noise of
this emergency tone, this siren song,
the physical pain and the damage done.

Though muted, it rings relentless.
The deafening beat of the drum
leads like a march
and follows with every step.
All the while, each beat strikes
from the mallet in your very hand.

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The following comments are for "Tinnitus"
by joeyjoejoe3

word choice
I love "rabble" and "humdrum" in the same line.
However, I would take out the word "anxiety" in the second stanza;
to me "sorrow, angst and tedium" has a stronger sound. "Angst" and "anxiety" seem (unnecessarily recurrent, repetitively surplus and) redundant. Though that could have been the effect for which you were aiming. ;)

( Posted by: Poeteye [Member] On: January 12, 2011 )

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