Searching for acceptance is a long road
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Searching for approval is a long shot
Why is it hard to be accepted?
Should I be perfect?
Should I be supper man?
Should I be prince charming?
Can't I be who I am?
Can't I be who I want to FUCKING be?!
I want to be ME!
I want to be ACCEPTED to who I really am!
I'm tired of lying
I'm tired of hiding
I'm tired of aiming for perfectness
I'm tired of searching
Searching to be ACCEPTED
Accepted by everyone, everybody
I'm tired of giving more than taking!
I'm tired of being the perfect friend, son, brother
I'm FUCKINGLY tired of trying to be who people want me to be!
My parents don't know who I really am!
I was never enough!
Even if I try my best to please them
As if they are perfect!
As if I AM!
I'm just a piece of shit walking on two legs!
I'm tired of trying to be the perfect, kind son!
They think they support me, but they are destroying me!
I can't talk to them, they'll think I'm crazy!
Well maybe I am!
FUCK my friends!
Some of them think I'm awesome!
Some say I'm perfect! Well guess WHAT?!
I am SHIT! I hate the earth I walk on!
I hate who I am! Who I've become!
I'm my little cousin's idol
Who the hell wishes to be like me?!
A fucking looser!
A LOOSER who knows not what love is!
A LOOSER that's looking for acceptance!
And when that looser gains it, he does not believe he did
That looser has lost faith
Faith in himself, people, and eventually in God
What the FUCK! The looser says...
What have I more to give to this pathetic world?
What have I still got to give?
Should I give up my soul so everyone would respect me?
I would do even more than that!
I'll even let someone else take my place and go to heaven instead of me
And Iíll go to hell, just to make that person happy
Just please God! You merciful God!
The great God! The strong God!
Why the Fuck are you doing this to me?!
It's like you wrote on my book that I'm not meant to be happy
What the hell do you want me to do?!
I give more than I FUCKING take!
I am depressed just to make people happy and satisfied!
I persecute my soul to save another's
I give my heart so it gets thrown away
What the FUCK should I do?!
What do you ask more from me?!
Iíll do anything you order me to do!
I pray, I fast, I do everything you ask for!!
Don't I have the right stuff?
Don't I have the right reasons to be happy?
Or are you just enjoying yourself sabotaging me?
I don't know till when I can last
I don't know till when I will lose hope in you, in me...
I don't want to lose faith in you
I want to trust you
You trust me with the soul and body you gave me
But I just need a stupid HINT!
I want a reason to keep on going
To keep on trying!
I want to try! I want to try to be perfect
I want to try to be loved, accepted from the people I love
Or just tell me if I'm asking for a lot
If I'm being greedy
I ask you humbly, on my knees
I ask you with my hands raised up to the sky, with my eyes full with tears
With my heart full with sadness, but yet full with hope
You are my God, you protect me
You gave me a heart, you save me
And I am grateful, I'm humble to your service
But just help me this time, I beg you with my heart!
Or just let me die!
It would just comfort me knowing that I'll be back...
Back into your arms
I don't care what you'll do to me
I don't care if you'll send me to hell
I'll tell the demons there how much I love you
How grateful I am to have you as my God
But I just want HELP! A SIGN!
I just want to make a difference!
But everything I do seems wrong...
It's like I keep falling in the same hole every single time
But I can't see my hole, I can't find it!
I don't know what's wrong! Is it ME?!
It's like I'm tied! Tied with a greater force...
Something stronger than me, something that is making me weak
Something that is trying to weaken my love to you
But I promise you with my life!
I am fighting, and I will never lose hope!
I will keep on fighting, I will keep on waiting...
Waiting for redemption
Redemption to free my soul
I will keep on fighting till my last breath and after
Till the end of humanity
Till you close the world, and open the judgment day
And when that day comes and you send me to hell
I will be happy, because I know that I am closer to you than ever before
I will tell everybody in hell how much you gave me
And how little I gave you
All my life I looked for acceptance
Acceptance from everybody, from everywhere
No matter whom the person is, no matter where I am
But what I am mostly looking for is your acceptance
I want you to accept me is a man of honor
As a good slave, because I am your slave
But this slave is asking for twilight, for a way
A way to redemption
And this slave will NOT give up
I shall be your strongest slave
I will TRY to be your perfect slave
I may be asking for a lot
But I only ask for a way and nothing else
A way to find love, to find hope, to find acceptance and appreciation
And I will fight to find my way
To find my destiny, my road, my path that I shall tread on