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After getting the idea down, I felt like it needed some tuning. I took David's advice and tried to organize it. It is still evolving, so please feel free to suggest something that needs tinkering. Thanks for reading!

Yet another unfortunate event,
What error did I make there?
How many things can go wrong?
Was I destined to fail all along?

My foolish dreams are wrenched from my mind,
They become twisted statues of petrified stone,
Horrors forever frozen in mocking laughter,
Reminding me of every disaster.

The sun shines brightly,
Only to engulf my world in darkness,
False hope is the story of life,
A recipe filled with extra strife.

Does a demon fly above me,
To snatch away my golden trophy?
A comforting voice tells me not to worry,
Despite the reality before me,

I hesitate in fear,
How does one know when the real nightmare begins?
Is this is nothing compared to what lies ahead,
A sinister plot to put me to bed?

I'm lost in a confusing maze,
Itís much too dark in here, and
The very air permeates sorrow,
Will there be a tomorrow?

Two chilling words break the deathly silence,
Your move....


------
Havoc


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Comments

The following comments are for "Indecision (revised)"
by HavocTheDemon

Havoc's Revisions
I'm honored you found my humble advice worthy of consideration. This flows much better in my head. I would make one more suggestion that you work a bit on the cadence, but other than that tiny little nitpick...

A home run my friend,

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: October 22, 2010 )





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