The following comments are for "March Song Challenge" by Pen
Pen's Challenge song
And fun to read!! The 'every line rhyme' is kinda cool but I had some trouble with the syllabic beat counts from verse to verse, although I could see that if you sang it with a few rushed lines and the shorter lines allow for beat rests it would work pretty well. I sat with my guitar and couldn't help but sing it bouncy and bright in spite of the darker context - but that is the pesky happy mood I'm in. Maybe tonight I'll be in a funkier mode and can give it a more somber sound. Great fun! Thanks.
Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: March 2, 2010
Hey Pen...thanks for getting your feet wet in the song writing challenge.
It's a long way from a sestina or a sonnet or free verse, but it IS fun, insn't it!
jonpenny & Bea
Glad you enjoyed it and I can see how it could be a bit awkward but it was written off the cuff because a phrase had been doing circles in my head when the challenge was posted so I simply ran with it. Thanks for this and thanks to you both for commenting.