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Something seems to be in my head,
Things I see, Things I say,
Big things, Bad things,
Day by day.

Jingle jangle,
Goddamit I say,
Get the fuckin giants,
Out of my way!

Look up there seeíum,
Flying saucers in the sky,
Buzzing all around my body,
Flying in and out of my eye.

The Fleerins and the Flats,
The Juggards and the Jags,
The Queerins and the Quats,
Swiggards and the Swats.

Theyíve had their day,
Coming and going,
Their sway.

Oh God,
My stomachís rumbling again,
I think the Devilís coming,
To take me back to Bazrinshugan.

Hear those cars down the street,
Their horns are too damn loud,
I think their sounds are secret,
Signs to a communist crowd.

Oh no, the clouds,
Are forming in the Eastern Last,
The enemy theyíll soon destroy us,
With a great nugladatorial blast.

Demons all around me,
Saying bad things to me,
Making me want to hurt others,
Blind even though I canít see.

They enter my body,
Through torcils in my skin,
Doctors would remove them,
But they are far too thin.

Canít seem them,
They are microscopic,
Too damn small,
They are isotopic.

Brave little buggers,
I tried to catch them,
Grabbing with my tweezers,
They fled back to Bem.

Home sweet home,
Where everyone goes,
If youíre losing your touch,
Wind the wind blows.

Blew me back a ways,
Toward my foster home,
Where my mother beat me,
Before I started to roam.

My benders have been bleeding,
Causing my motherís heart to stand still,
She went to her friend,
And she declared her to be ill.

Iím sure it was my fault,
So went to the kitchen,
Cut myself with a knife,
And stopped bitchen.

Yesterday, I went to the store,
Got a carrot, some milk,
And a tore.

Saw a boy there,
He starred at me,
So I grabbed his penis,
And he slapped me.

In the car, the demons,
Got into my pants,
Traveled to my vagina,
And put me in a trance.

They told me,
That I was going to Hell,
For touching that boy,
God they would tell.

Please donít send me to Hell,
Kill my vagina instead,
Do something else to me,
I said.

But all of a sudden,
The weather got bad,
It began to rain,
And I felt sad.

In the car next to me,
A man with a cigar,
Looked at my mother,
He had a bomb in his car.

He could kill us,
I told my mom,
She wouldnít listen to me,
She just said be calm.

Mom doesnít love me,
Iím dead,
I think my body ,
Is full of lead.

One day I got cut,
And my blood was gray,
It wasnít cloudy,
It was sunny that day.

I like boys,
But they donít like me,
They have runny skins in them,
With my eyes I can see.

Those demons,
It makes them mean,
They want to hurt me,
It would seem.

Iím afraid of God,
Heís to big and strong,
Sometimes I think that,
Hellís too long.

I would like to go to Heaven,
Must be a pretty place,
Mom will go there,
She has a pretty face.

Weíre finally home,
I love my dog,
Berber lives with me,
In my own rog.

The afternoon is really hard,
I never know what to do,
I sit around the house,
And browse at the ceiling till Iím blue.

Oh hi, thereísÖÖ.. my friend Reja,
Sheís plays with me when Iím in bed,
She scares away the demons,
When I think Iím dead.

Of all my friends,
She may be my best,
Because Reja has ďThe Key,Ē
To ďThe LockĒ of My Quest.

One day Iím sure ,
My journey will end,
But until then,
Many messages Iíll send.

To people who can hear,
To those of good cheer,
Those who know the charge,
Those who have no fear.

But the demons come and go,
In my body they stay,
It hurts my head,
They seem to always have there way.

God why canít you make the demons leave,
Make them go away,
I beg you God,
Hold them at bay!

I canít take it any more,
Thereís nothing I can do,
Do something fast,
I think my life is through,

Thereís nothing to live for,
All I can do is cry,
God, if you donít help me,
Iím going to kill myselfÖÖ so I can die.

G. Doug Soderstrom, Ph.D.

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The following comments are for "Schizophrenia"
by dougsoderstrom

the mind
the mind of a schizophrenic seems as diverse and unpredictable as any fiction... though freudian philosophy would probably attribute any personality skew to some childhood trauma and perhaps with strange bias articulate the direction of said distraught psyche, perhaps predict...

actually i'm just talking out of my ass, having no formal education beyond high school, but modern psycholgy seems to have some gaps in it (knowing it has advanced beyond freud, though not to that degree)... the mind is a terribly beautiful complex and i am reminded of that with this poem.

used to see demons myself as a child, late at night or sometimes during heavy daytime naps... later learned to control the demons... later still (a few years ago) learned the effect is something known as sleep paralysis and originates in the subconscious.

Weird shit, man
nice poem

( Posted by: ghostpoisonsturgeon [Member] On: February 10, 2010 )

Wow......... very interesting comments.... food for thought! Thanks for reading my piece, and the nice comments!


( Posted by: dougsoderstrom [Member] On: February 12, 2010 )

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