Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

Tomorrowland hits yesterdayville forever, after
the sun has peaked its zenith - Yelling
once loudly, in color - dissolves
into fizzly blowing fresh wind of night, as
a little curious girl points at a blinked star,
the same sparkling star she'll one day point to her own future child - now
nothing more than her toy-doll fancy,
a toy doll stuck overnight in a toy stroller,
waiting - of course - for tomrrowland to pass yesterdayville, once-again-upon the waning of the last-day's brilliant sun.

-=[ Blank this intentional space! ]=-

Related Items


The following comments are for "Tomorrowland"
by ak7raplt

not sure what to make of...
I am not sure what to make of this one. I would like to say I enjoyed it, but this was the first poem I haven't enjoyed quite the same way. There is something both hopeful and sad in it though.......

( Posted by: DarkMagic [Member] On: May 22, 2003 )

liked it...
I think you painted this picture very well. It evokes great emotion; simplistically so. I can nearly touch the little girl. Beautiful.

( Posted by: c.lynagh [Member] On: May 23, 2003 )

Only one point..
Forgot to mention this, I found the way you set it out kind of miss jointed. Perhaps solid paragraphs or better sentences might make it easier to get the full flow.

( Posted by: c.lynagh [Member] On: May 23, 2003 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.