*let's talk this over..it's not like we're dead*
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here i am again..i just can't pull myself from thinking about the what if's..or maybe's or i should have's...
I'm living my life now..i just had my nails done this evening..i'm back to my old self..narcissistic, prima donna, glam self centered girl..i care only for myself..is that bad?? no! of course not..i just want to love myself now..cause i dumped myself for other persons who took me for granted..
i admit..i have so much bitterness inside me..not for him but for my ruined life.
*you were all the things i thought i knew and i thought we could be*
crap..i hate this feeling..well i am happy..sort of..contented..but not so..
just this afternoon..i was watching my friends morphing into lovers..GOD! i envy them so much..how come i am alone and they're not?? this is so not fair..my life should be all about me and me being happy for them..
i'll tell you the root of all this..but i'll cut it short..we met, he loved me, i loved him, we were happy, they got back, i was dumped, end of story.
i'm not mad..it just didn't seem fair..it's so not! IT'S NOT FAIR! this felt like i was an angel and i just let that slip even if it broke me on a deepest level that it took me so much time to move on..ironic really, 2week relationship- including the introduction- and it took me almost 3 months to get over it. bullshit.
i don't want revenge..cause i know that it's his loss..i know..i just know
i don't love him anymore though i admit that i still think of him..but honestly..i don't love him anymore..reality check..i pushed him away..duh?? fine..so i tried to win him back but later realized that it's pointless..so i quit..
see?? i was doing the right thing..and ruining myself..
i realized one thing..i always get what i want..but i cant own them forever..it's just not meant to be, ok?????
this will be the last for wiki..we are so over..
and oh...this song is for you..
*it's nice to know that you were there
thanks for acting like you care
and making me feel like i was the only one
it's nice to know we had it all
thanks for watching as i fall
and letting me know we were done*
what?? it hit me..like it was perfectly composed for us..
*he was everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be,
supposed to be
but we lost it,
all this time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending*