Requiem Eternum Chapter Fifteen:
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Rowan’s Note: The following is a transcript of an audio clip my Father made. I’m still sorting through these while trying to keep them under wraps from people that would seek to do my Dad injustice. His victims would try to paint him as a mere lunatic. Sometimes I’ve thought the same. But the more I read, and learn, and view all of his expressive works, whether they be paintings, or essays, or the very lives he touched before it happened, the more I am convinced that he simply saw this place had no more redeeming qualities left for someone of his caliber to remain here as a positive force. I believe his decision to be a negative one, when cast in the right perspective, is a uniting force. Which is what he always sought. He just wished he could’ve used peaceful means to unite us, rather than the path he chose. I wish society would have allowed him to do it in life because I would have my Dad back.
Sincerely yours dearest and patient reader,
This letter is a statement of my personal beliefs. None of the following is to be ascribed or aspired to by any other person. Call it editorializing if you will because by the time this is heard it won’t matter. By the time this is heard, opinions on my sanity of all perspectives will have been formed. Judgments without knowledge will be exacted. And my name and every second of my life spent trying to do good with my every breath will have been wasted.
To speak as bluntly and forwardly as our society has lived I say this place is a cancer that cannot be allowed to continue to live. A cancer is loosely defined as an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. In our case, those cells are the people. I find it striking that even as I say these words I visualize them. In my writings on politics I used to capitalize the “P” in the word people. In reference to the perceived power-might of our once great Republic. No longer will I ever even think this, much less write it. It does them too much justice, for which they are not deserving. Justice dictates a sort of legalized vengeance on the part of the offended. In our case the offended does not exist. There are no innocents as ignorance is not an excuse for allowing one’s self to exist with no ambition. No ambition to get off the couch, no ambition to achieve, if not for the betterment of civilization, but at the very least for one’s self!
I see sins everywhere my eyes roam.
I see gluttony in our nation. For only in a truly foolish nation are the richest the skinniest, while the poorest are the fattest!
I see greed in our nation. From the Wall Street financiers that rob the faithful worker of his/her life savings, to the Girl Scout Mom pocketing those couple extra bucks from the cookie sales. Our very economic stylus is based upon this weakness, while using the same forked tongue, our holy men praise it as their god’s blessings in this world! Yet they never realize the irony of that belief, and the so they too enjoy the fully lined pockets. Regardless of the consequence incurred by their soul and credibility.
I see lust in our nation. Where literally everything revolves around sex, trying to get it, wanting to have it, being great while doing it. Nothing is ever mentioned about Love or its’ concepts anymore. Regardless of the semantics, my opinion is that Love is of much more value than simple lust. Lust does nothing for the greatness of the soul, and so should be purged from the individual.
I see wrath in our nation.
I see wrath everywhere, and this sin is related directly to many other sins. From that of greedy drug dealers killing randomly. To the lustful and jealous lovers killing their former loves. Guns are everywhere. In the hands of our sons from early tender age. We think nothing of it because it was in our hands when we were youths. Going off to play “war” with plastic guns, instead of playing peace. People unjustly using their religions to murder scores of different people.
I see envy everywhere in our world.
From the envy of nations, to the envy of your neighbor. He has that which you want, and oftentimes, feel you deserve. Which results in wrath. Which results in dead neighbors. Jealousy is as pervasive a sin as any. One just has to look in a mirror to see it.
I see sloth everywhere.
People seeking to simply exist in this world. Not caring enough to realize that they get the priviledge of eating today, but bitching and complaining about lukewarm potatoes on their plate as they are fed by strangers. And then leaving a nominal fee for the peons’ troubles, like a truly trivial monarch of days of yore. People that cannot make a two minute walk to a store, while others in the world walk ten miles for dirty water!
My nation is the only one in the entire history of humanity that has incinerated cities! Think about that while you hear this. An entire city… gone. In the blink of an eye. Why? Why did people have to die in gas chambers, or slaughterhouses? Why did men like Wilfred Owen have to die horrible deaths where their eyes turned into yellow mush? Why were thumbscrews used by supposed holy men on the children of a suspected infidel? Why were citizens of nations eaten, yes eaten, by defenders of a faith?
One word can succinctly surmise. Arrogance.
War has gotten to a point where it is not about right or wrong. Not about disputes of evil and goodness. It is about revenue and finance. Nations die because of a theoretical system of economics and monetary conversion. Over natural resources. Over stuff that really doesn’t matter in the first place.
War has gotten to be a great dick contest between nations.
We can fire an arrow that pierces armor!
We can make explosive weaponry.
We can create gunpowder.
We can launch a bunch of steel balls overhead to explode on personnel.
We can sail ships made of iron.
We can sail underwater.
We can fly.
We can break the sound barrier.
We can incinerate a city with one bomb….
We can destroy the entire planet.
War has become a game of unseen fear. Where the most powerful warrior counts for nothing as a child that can push a button can destroy an entire platoon.
America stands on the brink of the truest leadership among nations, yet also stands on the brink of truest disaster. To know you can kill another in the blink of an eye. No repudiation, no real world consequence, yet you do not do it. THAT is power. And so our nation is drunk off that power. So drunk in fact, that we’ve banked our entire existence on those deadly stockpiles. We are allowed to do the things we’ve done because of the simple fact that we HAVE nuked cities, and we CAN nuke more. Ours has always been a warlike nation, and even now in a digital age of virtual enlightenment, we are called to arms.
With wars on poverty, on drugs, on terrorism, on each other.
And so I am answering that call now, but responding to a higher one at the same time. My goal is to be the uniting bad guy. The rallying cry for all the goodness in each person that I know is there. I never sought to do others harm in such ways. But I see through the glass clearly now. I was made to fight a war that cannot be won in life. My sacrifice is for the whole of humanity. That they may feel what every warrior has felt looking back one last time at their loved ones before they stride with quaking legs into the pits of Hell.
“I’ll do this little one, so you won’t have to.”
So if killing is to end, let it end here, with me. Let mine be the last of the hatreds. The last of the prejudices. The last of the useless deaths. And let us as a peoples forge ahead to a new day of love and light.
In this age of indecisiveness. Of indolence. I shall take on the burden of action, for I always have. And now see that is why this place has been so harsh for me. I do not undertake this lightly, for I know fully what could happen. I know many could die as a result of my actions. I also know my children may be branded as the sons and daughters of a lunatic. But I also know that the status quo cannot be allowed to stand. No longer can I bear to see the slaveries of the souls. No longer can I allow such ignorance to fester itself like a parasitic hunter waiting to feed on the fresh souls of the young. So I shall act. But the listener must bear in mind to be a peaceful man by your very nature. For when men such as we are stirred to action from the slumber of pacification; revolutions are begun, villians are punished, & heros are made. And when the burning embers of today become the legends of tomorrow, the world will be better that we had lived and lived decisively.