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I write in shadows, all forlorn,
Of love, of nature, and of loss,
Of how beauty is strength reborn,
Or how sharp stems all roses toss;

The lover shall of rose require-
While hum-drum bee his nectar seek-
That to his Love its scent perspire,
How life is pure and seldom bleak!

Thus, the lover, crowned a poet,
Skips his words to beat and rhyming,
And, untorn, he does not know it
That the passesrs-by are trying

To conceal from him the long reign
Of love that fades like setting sun;
Our senses tend to make us feign
The passions firing gun;

This I try to capture smoothly,
Yet no reader Me embraced
As did Keats or even Southey,
And esteemed me to a rightly place;

Their style or thought I do not match,
Yet even nightmares rest with sleep,
And I a fan, confined, can't catch
Same feeling netted from the deep.

A rose will grow to die and grow
Again to only sed its leaves,
The sun retract in mighty stow,
Thus I, like sand, the ocean breathes

To air; T'ween my love and logic
How do I answer my souls call,-
Younger Byron had more magic-
To o'erlook doubts and remain tall?

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The following comments are for "Poet's Concern"
by mj20300

poets concern
Nice send up! High language and rich. I had trouble with the break in rhythm in the 4th stanza - still my favorite stanza - just a couple more beats on the last line. Some spelling issues cause a stumble. If it were edited -for me - it would be a near perfect piece.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: November 2, 2009 )

A smooth and urging poem, I love your phrasing and the use of a hyphen to break off a thought and attach another. Your word choice has great texture to it, enriching the poem's theme. I agree with the need for more syllables at the end of stanza 4, but it's not nearly enough to break the fluidity of the rhythm. Great job!

( Posted by: strummerdundee [Member] On: November 3, 2009 )

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