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5pablowilliams

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Three simple words
That brings a warm happy feeling
How can these three simple words are felt
For someone one has never met in person?
How can this be possible?
Three simple words that can swim the oceans
Climb the highest mountains
And travel through time
Three simple words that feels so right
I cannot explain, but it is so
I Love You!

Sunshineangel



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The following comments are for "Three Simple Words"
by sunshineangel

You should work on this further
"and travel through time". mmmm, the idea that loves traverses even time; I love this thought.

I am confused where it reads: "How can these three simple words are felt
For someone one has never met in person?" - maybe you meant, (words "that" are...??)


( Posted by: pablowilliams [Member] On: October 27, 2009 )

Simple Words
I agree with pablo in that this needs to be polished a bit. You have a nice image here, long distance love can be tricky, but when it works out, it is worth the effort. Thank you for sharing with us.

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: October 27, 2009 )

3 words
'needs more work'

'How can this be possible?
Three simple words that can swim the oceans
Climb the highest mountains
And travel through time'

You just about tapped your poetic voice here - then you fell into 'hallmark' language. You have a great poetic feel to your writing but you seem timid in trying different and more elegant word choices - please don't - walk to the edge and jump. We will catch you and give you help in your work.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: October 30, 2009 )





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