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You raise your eyebrows
I lower mine
and try not to notice
the bounce in your step
or how the distance you cover
My voice faint
as I sense you closer
Could barely whisper-
shackles and chains.

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The following comments are for "Shackles"
by niel3995

Everything is good here - word choice and tempo - it just seems to brief. The ideas come and end a bit abruptly - maybe open this one up a little and spend a little more time withe thought threads.

and try not to notice
the bounce in your step
or how the distance you cover (?)
(This just stops - surely more to say here?)

I loved the last three lines - like the refrain in a blues song! ;) Thanks always a good read from you!

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: October 17, 2009 )

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