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8.5

(2 votes)


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9jonpenny
8pablowilliams

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Take your finger
trace it along the path
and there you will find
the creator
heaven in a petri dish
Eve ate a rotten orange

A flick
a slide
just enough to move the dust
that was your rib

just a touch
to wear us down
to lose a nail
to feel the bone
scrap, drag, fragment

pointing back
pointing forward
all lines converge

you and your silly eyes
how did they make themselves?

snips and snails
a million cut
sliced
imagined
reduced to a few thousand
all because
we won't believe
that miraculous
doesn't mean reason


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Comments

The following comments are for "Tired "
by rancidsauce

Tired
You know - its a lot of work to read you and worth every second invested. I had to read this a half dozen times to appreciate this. The open form was interesting and as always when I spoke it aloud it worked for me. I did have to work at cadence - but I found it. The biological reference to the impossibility of 'eyes' mad me laugh. - I hope I got that as you intended. You teetered on the edge of it being incomprehensible but rode the line well. Courageous! Thanks.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: October 15, 2009 )

Nice!
I so like these lines "pointing back/pointing forward/all lines converge" oh..they are so pregnant with meaning!! Very nice job!

( Posted by: niel3995 [Member] On: October 16, 2009 )





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