~o~The Life and times of Scandal Man~o~
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Flipping through the fine pages of the associated press (or local newspaper, itís all the same thing) I noticed a rather humorous little article about former united states president, mr Bill Clinton, who as it seems has just closed deal for ten million American dollars to write his memoirs. The deal now officially breaks the current world record for an amount of money paid out for a non fiction title. Yeah, non fiction my ass!
Letís face it, Clinton showed absolutely no moral conviction whatsoever against lying outright in court when that whole Monica thing broke out. I can only imagine what kind of ~creative liberties~ el presidente will try to fudge into his little book. Iím sure there's gonna be all sort of fascinating stories about the many exploits of Clintonís life. Remember when he smoked weed without inhaling any smoke? Iíve always wondered about that, maybe heíll explain how exactly he pulled that one off.
I know I brushed up on this a few articles ago when I spoke about survivor, the british tabloids and living in glass houses, but it all seems to come back to the same thing. We, as a species love nothing more than to watch people fry under the heat of the spotlight. The reason Clinton is being paid so much to write this book is because the publisher (Alfred A. Knopf) knows damn well it will make unrealistic amounts of profits. The reason for all this, in one word, ~Scandal~!
Thatís what itís all about, isnít it? We canít wait to read about the scandal, the dirt, the highly personal secret stuff, and as we all know, el presidente has some pretty messed up skeletons in that big olí closet of his. But of course, what will make Clintonís memoirs such a hot read is that despite all the other former presidents, congressmen and other American politicians whoíve been involved in one form of scandalous affairs or another, Clinton was the one to get caught! Thatís where the steam is my friends, thatís where we get to sit back next to the fireplace with our big hardcover copies of Clintonís memoirs and experience the pure pleasure of watching el presidente squirm in the meat grinder all over again.
Think about it! The testimonies, the lies, the intrigue, the impeachment trials, the public humiliation, the bad press, which was no less than a complete media lynching! With the right marketing and the right amount of emphasis on certain parts of his life, this book could easily top the bestsellerís list, and in fact Iím almost certain it will, as the plan is to focus the book on the presidency, thus very easily allowing the scandal to become the entire meat of the book.
Well, one way or another, the book isnít scheduled to come out until 2003, so youíll all have to wait for a while, but hey, in the meantime, you do have a new president in power whose just heading blindly down the main lane for one scandal after another. Expect to hear words like arsenic, pollution, and return of cold war to top the headlines while we watch ďSon of Scandal ManĒ slowly write itself right on our television screens.
Set the Ray to Jay!