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6.5

(2 votes)


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7jonpenny
6pablowilliams

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The steps you took
the noises they made
Almost no pause
between heels clicking,
Whatever the purpose
However you trade
Your mouth muscles moving-
one quick, after another!
Some sounds only fade
Some quickly disappear
Though fully in the dark
Yet, you have so much to cover.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Cover"
by niel3995

Cover
'Cover' for me is the issue with this one. Too much covered too thinly. I think this deserves a little more work. I hope you had a chance to read my article in Majestic. I don't mean to be in any was derisive, but this is one of those 'good ideas' pieces that just comes - but needs more expansion on the original beam down from the astral.

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: October 3, 2009 )

Too much covered
....always appreciate your comments JP...Thanks!

( Posted by: niel3995 [Member] On: October 16, 2009 )





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