"What's funny is that my last blog entry here won an award elsewhere. This makes me ask one of two pertinent questions. What's the point if no one reads it. The few that may, not now but later. May see a bit of something, that is ...
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Despite the newfound attempts at a sort of justification for that which you are and what you've done. I'm the man on the grassy knoll. The unknowable catalyst. The invisibile villain without which there would be no story. The complication of the adaptation to such a position would be that your villain is within you, not manifest in me. I'm the zit on your face, I'm teh phlegm you hack up, I'm the stank from your feet, I'm your Death... but I'm only a symptom of your disease. I'm that which you choose to see, most definitely not that which is.,
The true question is dual fold then. Am I to bother with the effort required to open your eyes; provided the possibility of realization on your part? IE Should I spend a first round draft pick on you? or
Does my path dictate I move to another and teach them what I know, and hope it's requited?
Do I stop teaching then?
Of course the answer is inevitably, and in every consideration, that I am to teach. Call me Aquarian I'm sorry, I just... know.
Regardless of the circumstance, the passage of knowledge, and its' most basic cornerstone the Ideal of Questioning, is by far the greatest contribution to the world any one person can make. Physically one could do things that would put us in the short term annals of history. But who would want to be doomed to such mediocrity?!
Nay, my friend, if you are to reach You'd best bring it, " no balls no blue chips" sort of mentality.
In short, if you are to fuck with humanity... try to help or hurt, you'd do well to understand that which you are attempting to help or hurt. in both cases of intent, knowledge is King.
In turn, knowledge is based upon perception. That which you understand and perhaps believe is based upon a certain set of reality based circumstances, therefore your brain does not work, at its' most base level, on the same wavelength as mine... I got it.
But doing what you did, and taking into consideration the previously stated knowledge (or lack thereof), and then having the subsequent BALLS OF STEEL you continue with your...
The question posed then, at the bone of the leg, is this: Do I hurt you to help them?
I suppose this is the question reflected over by all leaders. Should I sacrifice to save? This is the same question posed to gamers of all eras, from Chess to Halo 3.
How much are you willing to sacrifice to save?
For you, almost anything, ALMOST
My only hope is that you aren't destroyed in the process of me doing what I must. I want to say that it's not your fault that you are the way you are, because I know it isn't fully your fault. But you are an adult, and as such you must act it. You are also a leader. Like it or not. You are Ma, Momma, Mum, Madre, Mom. You are THAT one. With that title comes responsibility. Without the accomplishment of those responsibilities it's unrealistic to expect the title and the respect it deserves.
So the crux is, put simply, tell the truth, and subsequently make their Mother into the category of which she does indeed belong? The indiffernt one? The one where folks that...just wish the kids would go away...
In truth, I'm more embarrassed and disappointed in myself. At my lack of ability to help you become you. inept encompasses it nicely.
Inept with you...
But not them. With them, I know what to do. I know what to do in all cases. When I have to think of my toes???
Is when i'm in my game. Zoned in. As I've always been.
The one you jumped to when you sat in the field during the lightning storm and the Gods reminded you a lil too too closely of your mortality.