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Authors Note: Alright folks, here it is. I don't know what genre of music it would be. Jack Johnsonish perhaps. Be gentle its my first time ;)


All Alone

I was a man with peace in my eyes
A peace uncommon to most
But the truth was hidden amongst all the lies
That my generation boastís
With the Iís and the meís and I want it now please
Itís the cancer of us, itís our human disease
I made my excuses and hid all my bruises
I let myself be deceived

Now Iím lost, with you gone
Yes Iím lost, with you gone

All alone, all alone
With my memoryís
They wonít let me be
All alone, all alone
I wish you could see
How you left me
All alone

I was a man with love in my heart
I thought that love was for real
I gave it all to you from the start
In the end the truth was revealed
You laughed as you told me that itís just a game
But I didnít know the rules
You blew me a kiss as you walked away
The light in your eyes, so cruel

Now Iím lost, with you gone
Yes Iím lost, with you gone

All alone, all alone
With my memoryís
They wonít let me be
All alone, all alone
I wish you could see
How you left me
All alone


I cannot touch you, canít hear your voice
My senses reach to find
Some trace of you to fill the void
In the silence of my mind
From room to room I haunt this place
That used to be our home
A ghost that cannot fill the space
Thatís left now that youíre gone

Now Iím lost, with you gone
Yes Iím lost, with you gone

All alone, all alone
With my memoryís
They wonít let me be
All alone, all alone
I wish you could see
That you left me
All alone


------
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'
Lewis Carroll



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Comments

The following comments are for "Song Writers Challenge"
by HeRoCoMpLeX

Hero's all alone.
Heartfelt and real. Love songs only work for me if there is some tension/drama inherent in the prose. Great verse structure and meter.

The two line chorus entro before the 'all alone' hook stanzas is terrific. The repetition works here very well.This would work as a ballad or sang a bit country. I just went to see Randy Travis last night so I'm in that 'good story/ big hooks kinda mood. Nice job!

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: August 22, 2009 )

HeRoCoMpleX
Not bad..nothing new, but presented well. I, too, look for catchy hooks and commercial viability..

Good structure.

Keep putting pen to paper.

Salute,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: August 22, 2009 )

@Bobby & Ken
Wow, not the response I was expecting at all. As my own worse critic, I was not as pleased with this as I would have liked.

Ken: Fortunatly for us, I'm from Arkansas, so not only do I have that good old country twang in my voice, but the affection for country music. Thanks for the kind comment my friend ;)

Bobby7L: Thanks for stopping by and for the kind comment. I just joined a few weeks ago, but I'm already a fan of your work. Anytime you have a moment, you opinion and insight would always be welcome on anything of mine. Thanks again

Dave

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: August 22, 2009 )

"my generation boastís"
Sorry it took me so long to make my way over here, David. Iím flying out tonight (finally) so I thought Iíd look in one last time before the off...

some very fine trip-off-the-tongue wording here and the first verse particularly rings true and resonates for me. a wonderful testament to how we fool ourselves and allow ourselves to be fooled, by ideas and emotions as much as other people. really nice work.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: August 29, 2009 )

@Shannon
Thank you for stopping by, I'm so glad you liked it. Looking forward to your return.

I hope your feeling better, and hope you have fun. Have a safe trip.

( Posted by: HeRoCoMpLeX [Member] On: August 29, 2009 )





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