The following is an open letter to Mr. Thomas Pynchon, the author of the new novel "Inherent Vice."
You must login to vote
Dear Mr. Pynchon,
I am writing this letter to request that you refund the $30.40 I recently spent to purchase your latest novel “Inherent Vice.” Being painfully aware that, as the saying goes, there’s a snowball’s chance in hell that this will ever happen, I want to at least take this opportunity to explain why I feel the refund is due.
I became aware of your new book after reading a couple of very enthusiastic reviews in the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. Having never read any of your books I felt confident enough to make this an opportunity to become acquainted with your work.
I walked into my local Boarders bookstore one evening and spotted the book. The first red flag was the dust jacket – I hate pink! I don’t know why I hate pink, I just do…do you know what I mean? They say you can’t judge a book by its cover…I beg to differ. Anyway, I picked up a copy, took a deep breath, and made the purchase.
Knowing that the plot of “Inherent Vive” revolves around the wisecracking teahead PI Doc Sportello, I thought it would be a great idea to get into the mood of the novel by getting stoned myself. Wrong! After just six chapters I was so totally confused by the unlikely story, the never ending cast of unbelievable characters and cutesy-cutesy dialogue that I decided to start reading the book over – straight. Needless to say this did not help.
By page 233 I had finally had enough of “Inherent Vice” and decided not to waste any more time on it. Then the very depressing thought crossed my mind that if I had not spent $30.44 on your book I could have gotten a much better bag of weed. So I absentmindedly tossed the book across the living room and it smashed in a very expensive lamp my wife loves very much.
Therefore, Mr. Pynchon, I am enclosing a copy of my receipt and respectfully request a refund at your earliest convenience.
Yours most sincerely,
john. john doe.