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Average Rating
10

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
10TheRealKarmaTse..
10TheTesticularPr..

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In the twilight of an alien sun
I dig a foreign grave

Solemn repose and I am ancient of days

Tell me all of the ways
This could have been avoided
Sing truth with you sacrosanct tongue

I am crumbling I am young

Crushed beneath a vast expanse
A sea of space
There is no place
For me in this

Your eyes express the sea and drowning
Strange light bores through
So clear so indiscernible

Like aurora borealis Like aurora australis
Like the north and Like the south
Its Like heaven and Like hell

And I dont know which way I fell



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Comments

The following comments are for "."
by ghostpoisonsturgeon

" I am crumbling I am young"
I like the ambiguity and uncertainty of this. reads like one grappling with and groping along all the hair-pin curves and blind alleys of consciousness and ending with more questions than before he started... know how that goes...

poem reads of a chaos inevitable, interminable and older than sun, a force that suspends the soul at the intersection of all things, spinning like an errant compass needle...

I think the occasional rhyming hooks are highly effective, they draw the attention and provide little lights down this dark path...

dont have much time at present, I have babby brother down, making demands on my attention, but I saw youd posted and Im glad I dropped by. its good to read you again.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: August 13, 2009 )

Up or Down
...and it makes me wonder.

( Posted by: TheTesticularPrancer [Member] On: August 14, 2009 )

GPS...
This fascinates me, and BTW, like Shannon has already mentioned, I too am very glad to read you again for I have always enjoyed your work. The use of the capitalized Like is perplexing--overall again I agree with the Reverend that this too deserves a ten rating;-)

Blessings,
Karma

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: August 15, 2009 )

- way I fell
Wonderful. The sad inevitable is transcendent in this poem. Nice word choices - a wide stroke of pen on a vast canvas. Thank you! A treat. Welcome back!

( Posted by: jonpenny [Member] On: August 15, 2009 )





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