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7

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7TheRealKarmaTse..

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this guitar
is gonna get me out of this town
but it cant go with me
'cause I bowwowed it from my ex-girlfriend
so far
every other one brought me down
they killed the vivid things I see
and added sorrow further than I ever needed

how do you play?
I hope you're saying something that means something to me
how do you sing?
I hope you're not screaming just to shock me

this guitar
will either lift me up or bring me down
for now it stays with me
and I spread the message that I can send
so far
from seeing my way out of this town
I wish sometimes it was so easy
I'm taking too much time being me

------
The Red Headed Jesus


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The following comments are for "How Do You Sing?"
by RHJesus

~Praise His Holy Name!~
Hallelujah! My ginger bearded brother. When I saw your most holy name, I must confess that I felt the spirit rise up within me and was compelled to read thy writings here upon the cross of litdotorganization! Amen(typos aside) and hope to see more. Never seen you here before... will he be back for more?

Love the premise and can relate.
Salutations,
The Reverend Antinomian

( Posted by: TheTesticularPrancer [Member] On: July 24, 2009 )

Lyrical?
For me, this didn't read well as a lyric. Two confusing verses -"So far/every other one brought me down"..every other guitar?.that's how it reads.

..and a lame chorus.

Not catchy..not melodic..It's pedestrian, at best.

I see it's already been given a 10.

Ciao,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: July 24, 2009 )

Lyrical?
'every other one brought me down'...yes every guitar.

Maybe it doesn't read well bcause it doesnt have a B minor, D, and A behind it.
There will be more confusion to come, because it is hard to express a lyric properly without music in the background.

Thanks, this song is almost in the can though.

I'm not exactly sure what is confusing about it. Pretty straight forward.

( Posted by: RHJesus [Member] On: July 24, 2009 )

Lyrics..without music
When I look at a lyric, I ask, does it stand on its own..wtihout the music?

You've cleared the guitar question..

It's so short..less than a minute of words..so I guess there's a lot of guitar.

I know at other sites, you can offer it as a song which can be heard.

Look forward to hearing it.

Ciao

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: July 25, 2009 )

uh....re: song rating;-)
Sorry about that, but the rating button got pressed before I had a chance to get it correct, thanks to Stuart for fixing the problem so I could rate it as I felt would be a more fair critique, which by the way is the purpose of posting here to get an HONEST critique/and/or opinion . This song on it's own (the words & flow) without music (it would require a lot of instrumental) really is not beyond a number seven rating, and that is being generous with the typos I see here. If this is a repetitive blues or death metal I can hear it, as a song, ballad or whatever in other genres, it better have some really good instrumental to be pulled off and make the grade, cause it just doesn't stay in my head. To me, music sticks, it sticks to you brain, this does not. Thanks for posting though and sharing, I like some of your other songs much better, let the music keep flowing forth from your muse;-)

Karma

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: July 25, 2009 )

Thaks for honesty
You can't hit a home run with every song, right? Only within ourselves do some songs keep their context.

( Posted by: RHJesus [Member] On: July 25, 2009 )





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