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This is to the tune of Modern Major General by Gilbert and Sullivan. For those who've never heard the song here is a link to a youtube of it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bC59HErFgSM
the song itself starts at :35 of the clip and ends at 3:57
---------------------------------------------------------------
I am the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager
I oft impede production and I do a lot of damage here
I'm told that what we do is something they call manufacturing
The style of my leadership could be called Margaret Thatchering

I graduated college with a brand new shiny MBA
Almost as good as knowledge it don't matter to me what you say
I sit all day in meetings till my ass has grown flat and numb
Although they do not work I think my each idea's platinum

Although they do not work he thinks his each idea's platinum
Although they do not work he thinks his each idea's platinum
Although they do not work he thinks his each idea's platiplatinum

I make projections based on facts all seemingly zodiacal
And I make changes to the process three steps past maniacal
Still I oft impede production and I do a lot of damage here
For I am the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

Still he oft impedes production and he does a lot of damage here
For he is the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

The workers look up to me (I've an office on the second floor)
They've just as much love for me as the bull has for the matador
And when I give instructions I can tell that they are listenning
It's the sense that they might give a damn that always seems to me missing

I concoct the times and dates the orders must be going out the door
And when I give them to you they should have been gone the day before
For the lack of punctuality there's lots of blame to go around
But when they're handing out mine it's a sure bet that I can't be found

But when they're handing out his it's a sure bet that he can't be found
But when they're handing out his it's a sure bet that he can't be found
But when they're handing out his it's a sure bet that he can't be can't be found

At any new emerging trend I'll take a long and lusty look
And I know how a business runs if it exists in a textbook
Yet I oft impede production and I do a lot of damage here
I am the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

Yet he oft impedes production and he does a lot of damage here
He is the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

When I can differentiate a bandsaw from a monkey-wrench
When metric and imperial I'm aware of the difference
When the thought of work does not give me a case of the willies
Perhaps then I can start to hide my obvious stupidity

For my daddy he worked long and hard down in depths of INCO's mines
And I swore I'd not do the same when it finally came my time
I camoflagued my failings deep down in a university
And left it just as stupid as I entered clutching my degree

And left it just and stupid as he enterred clutching his degree
And left it just and stupid as he enterred clutching his degree
And left it just and stupid as he enterred clutching clutching his degree

Even though my education left out all things vaguely practical
And I was widely known as a blatant hack throughout my school
I now impede production and I do a lot of damage here
I am the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

He now impedes production and he does a lot of damage here
He is the very model of a modern-day Plant Manager

editted to fix diction, typos and flow


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Comments

The following comments are for "Modern-Day Plant Manager"
by CyanideEyes

Modern-Day Plant Manager
I am sure this is totally correct
Modern managers have serious defect
World's economy this does affect
Modern managers destroy, not protect

Their skill is in the certificate paper
That makes them something greatly super
But truly efficient people remain pauper
But strangely lousy manager is the topper

Though the poem is a long one
My heart it has totally won
It contains wit, wisdom and fun
A nice work has been done.

With best wises,

( Posted by: mvvenkataraman [Member] On: July 19, 2009 )





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