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--You seem to want--

Pale night, traffic sounds
cluttering space, can't sleep.
Laid there listening
to gas in gut and your snoring.
A bit of cold air comes
in window,
and there's tiredness
over what little I do.
And in distance a train sounds.





By: David E. Howerton


------
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Coyote Laughs so begins his favorite game
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Comments

The following comments are for "You seem to want"
by bhagwandave

..of wanting
David,
Not keen on the "ands", but that's poet's prerogative..

Good capture..

Ciao,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: June 15, 2009 )

I agree with Bobby7L
This piece is powerful, but using the word "and" diminishes its power. At least, in my mind, it does.

But really good work otherwise!

Ochani

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Member] On: June 21, 2009 )





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