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Half blind bloodshot eyes
secluded in deep etched lines

slowly recognized their surroundings.

With stubble laying thick upon his chin,
the man shook and shivered.
Looked close to death I thought,
but written in the meaningless face
was the texture of survival.
The loose careless mouth
would again caress and suckle
cheap nectar from nameless bottles,
in the depths of lanes and doorways.
Then off hed be for another week
of dark corners, nestling himself
between garbage cans, where only
a stray cat would befriend him.
On a Thursday, or maybe a Monday,
blurry eyed and half starved,
hed emerge again, silently, out of the shadows.
By Gale

Jayne Gale

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The following comments are for "DERELICT"
by Gale

Some great lines in this poem like 'texture of survival' and 'loose careless mouth'. I wonder how it would work in present tense unless you made a conscious decision to base this in the past.

I felt empathy for this person. I wondered whom he was as a child, as a person. Sometimes we don't want to look too closely at beggars or derelicts, because we don't want to see the pain they carry with them. Shunned by society, the homeless don't get the help they need, that's for sure.

( Posted by: sandra [Member] On: May 11, 2009 )

Thank you for your comments Sandra. It is a great compliment the poem made you feel and think so much about the character. I wasn't consciously thinking in tenses present or past but more conscious of observations. Although the character may be empathic the viewer seems disconnected as so many people are, judging and deciding who a person is in what they observe, a common practice I believe. Gale.

( Posted by: Gale [Member] On: May 12, 2009 )

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