Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Marks



Opening credits roll. Goes to extreme close up on eye. Slowly pan out.

FLASHBACK. Close up on gun firing. BODY falls to floor, close up to head.

PRESENT. Camera has pushed out enough to reveal BODY'S face, bullet hole between eyes. BODY is lying in trunk of car. STRANGER shuts trunk of car, not revealing face.

Wide Shot. STRANGER walks around and gets into car. Car starts.

Scan Shot. Car driving down a road.

Close up. Car stereo. STRANGER turns off radio. Pans up to reveal STRANGERS face.

Close Up. Shows tight grip on the steering wheel.

Overhead shot. STRANGER pulling car to the curb by a bridge.

CLOSE UP. RUSTLING black garbage bags.

CLOSE UP. DUCT TAPE being pulled.

CLOSE UP. STRANGER opens car door and gets out. Follow feet to the back of the car. Hear opening of trunk. STRANGER pulls out BODY and cinder block.

OVERHEAD SHOT. STRANGER Wrapping BODY in plastic bag and duct tape behind car. Attaches cinder block

SCAN SHOT. STRANGER dragging BODY over to edge of bridge.

WIDE SHOT. BODY being pushed over edge.

UNDER SHOT. STRANGER standing by edge of bridge. STRANGER pulls out a flask and takes a swig.
3x3 SHOT. STRANGER sits down in drivers seat. EXTREME CLOSE UP on STRANGER'S eyes.

CUT SCENE. EXTREME CLOSE UP. KILLER opens his eyes to ringing phone.
CLOSE UP. Phone rings again. KILLER picks it up.
3x3. KILLER holding phone to his ear. He says nothing at first.
KILLER
2 o'clock. By any means. I'll call you, you don't call me.
KILLER hangs up phone. Lying in bed, he turns on television. CLOSE IN on television channel.

CUT SCENE. EXTREME CLOSE UP on STRANGER'S eyes. Pan out to CLOSE UP.
CLOSE UP on shifting right side of face.
CLOSE UP on tightening hands.
CLOSE UP on speedometer decreasing.
CLOSE UP on lower back as STRANGER exits vehicle.
WIDE SHOT. STRANGER shutting car door. WES standing with briefcase in hand.
3x3. STRANGER walking out in front of his car, towards WES.
3x3. WES watching STRANGER'S approach.
WIDE SHOT. STRANGER and WES standing face to face.
EXTREME WIDE SHOT. STRANGER and WES standing face to face.
STRANGER
You got the payment?

WES
Has it been taken care of?
STRANGER pulls out Polaroid, hands it to WES. WES looks at it.

WES
Good
WES pulls out lighter and lights Polaroid on FIRE. Holds it for awhile, then throws it to the ground.

STRANGER
The payment?

WES
It should all be there.
STRANGER opens suitcase and looks inside. Shuts suitcase.

STRANGER
The deal was for 25.

WES looks up, shocked.
STRANGER
This is 50.
CLOSE UP on WES'S face.

STRANGER
Weren't you wondering why you're boss sent you?
EXTREME WIDE SHOT. STRANGER running up to WES and stabbing him in gut. STRANGER pulls out knife, WES keels over. STRANGER grabs suitcase and returns to his car. STRANGER starts car and pulls away.

OVERHEAD SHOT. WES lying in the dirt, still. Slowly pan in to EXTREME CLOSE UP on eyes.

CUT SCENE. EXTREME CLOSE UP on clock radio turning to 2 o'clock.
3x3. KILLER sitting in drivers seat.
3x3. KILLER'S car, panning up to reveal house down the street. A girl is walking down the street towards the house.

3x3. KILLER gets out of car.

CLOSE UP. RACHAEL opening front door.

KILLER (from behind)
Rachael Taylor?

RACHAEL (turning to face KILLER)
Yes?

KILLER
I'm looking for your father

RACHEAL (turning back to the door)
Sorry, he's not here right now. You'll have to come back another time.

RACHEAL opens door. KILLER comes up behind her and pushes her inside.

KILLER (Pulling knife out of jacket)
That's alright. I'll wait.

End Credits.

------
I don't you can see, I only use my superpowers for good...



Comments

The following comments are for "Marks (Part I)"
by lifeasweknowit

marks
I think all the camera directions got in the way of the actual story, making it difficult to get into.

( Posted by: slackjaw [Member] On: April 10, 2009 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: