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The January Writing Challenge: You are an older man or woman, in your 80s; and for the first time in 50 years, you are visiting your ancestral home. Write a vivid, sensory-rich description of this place, and include a "twist" to the story. Perhaps a child you meet, who you discover is related to you by blood, or perhaps new owners of the house of your youth. Make this "twist" as unrealistic or surprising as you wish, but write it into your story so that it is believable, an organic extension of your memories that shows life is a never-ending circle. Be creative!

This month's winner of the writing challenge was NucleusFire. He wrote a very original, adult piece based on the writing challenge, and I am thankful he chose to compete! It is very good work.

The smell of old oak soaked with 40 year old beer spills came beneath my senses. Another Labatt blue ordered up while staring at the one of twenty televisions playing baseball. Distracted and hating baseball I daydream and stare at the taps in the middle to the bar.

A loud clapping rang in my ear, a player made a catch; my vision is blurred as I look up and sip my beer. Suddenly the absolute annoying chuckle stringed my ears like a teen screaming for Brittany.

“What the fuck?" I wonder.

"Time to find a new barstool," I mutter. Distastefully I turn to the right with a stare of hatred. “Could it be?”

No. I tell myself. Kelly?

She was my long time encounter in college. Maybe it’s the beer talking, Chris. "Bartender order up another blue, please."

“Chris! Chris! Is that you?”

I ignore her remarks and turn the left, sipping my beer.

“You have not changed!” she insisted.

My god is she talking to me, is it really her? My face turns pale and I realize she looks similar but I never met her in my life and apparently she knows my name. She grabs my shoulder, spins me around and gives me a bear hug.

“Shit!”

“Kelly? Uh um, it has been a long time hasn’t it?”

“It has been since I worked as a mortgage broker. In those days we were smoking pot on telegraph near taco bell.”

“Yeah, it has been a while” I remember those days, living at my uncles. The relationship goes back a year where I met her at a friend’s but the real Kelly. We were two horny individuals who had sex for fun or to say fuck buddies. The days were intense. I remember calling her on a random Tuesday and simply saying “I have to see you”, and she would come by in an hour and we would drink a few beers, smoke a pipe, the next two hours would be the most experimental experiences of my life. The intensity of the sex was animal and primitive in nature. She would light a cigarette and hit the bong as we cooled down in the basement. Off we go till the next time she would call or I would.

“I miss you boo” her puffy lips were intimidating.

I ask the worst question a man could ask with our history.” How have you been?”

I do not recognize her but she sounds like Kelly I convince myself and she is either drunk and thinks her name is Kelly as well or it actually is. Fuck, she is attractive and hell she started the conversation I convince myself.

“Chris! You know what I remember?”

“No!” It’s strange to think she knows my name, lucky guess perhaps.

“A few weeks ago in Pontiac at Clutch Cargos watching Oh Boy Oh Boy Commander I remember seeing you.”

“Me? I live in NY now that is impossible.”

“No No you were there with another whore from the city club.” She said.

“Another whore, are you jealous?” I sadly feed into the conversation as if I remember that moment hoping for more to materialize from the initial thought.

“All jokes aside I believe you are mistaken identity, I lived in NY for over a year and you honestly do not look familiar” I said.

“No, are you sure you do not remember me because I know a face like yours and more importantly”

She grabbed my crotch and squeezed my package with a wink in her eye. “These long lost friends”

“Ok. Ok I honestly thought you guessed my name on a lucky guess, I thought I knew you but that was the beer talking” I said.

Where do I take the conversation now, I first thought she was Kelly and she happened to be Kelly, strike one, she knows my streets and my taco bell, strike two, now she told my favorite band from Michigan.

“What night was it?” I repeated.

“November 1st a few weeks ago, what’s wrong with you? Did you smoke the peyote?”

“Peyote, Fuck nah it’s been years." I sigh and mutter under my voice.” I cannot believe this random Kelly; damn she is crazy but incredibly gorgeous. Black boots with a short red dress.

“Well Chris I never told you but after the club I found your city club whore and invited her out to an after party in Cork Town that same night.”

“Interesting” I said in a sarcastic under tone.

“Yea I gave her shrooms and we . . . well you know how I am.”

“No. I do not . . . ahh it doesn’t matter. Continue” I said with much attention to her lips.

“Well and you cannot tell anyone but, I was fucked up and pissed off she was with you and accidentally strangled that little whore.”

I fell silent.

“It doesn’t matter she was a lightweight anyway.”

“I do not know what to say and like I told you, you are mistaken identity,” I repeat to her.

“You keep saying that, you were always hard to get.” She said in a manipulative tone. "Next drink is on me for old time’s Chris.”

“Ok . . . I have to use the restroom, Order me up that sounds good, Blue please.” I walked off to the back restroom shaking my head; this woman is crazy and I have to get out here before I think too much of this. Pissing in the urinal troughs and reading the writing scratched on the wall like a cave man I realize I must finish this one drink and get the fuck out of here.

Walking back I notice her skirt was hiked up and she was applying lipstick.

“Hey, well that was an interesting story and shocking none the less.” I said in a distant way.

“Let’s toast and drink to interesting stories” she happily yelled over the terrible Kid Rock playing. Fucking hate Kid Rock I repeat to myself.

Clink.

“Tasty Eh? You should lighten up a little” She said.

I started feeling light headed; maybe it was the eight beers or fuck.

I woke up; I am lying in a bed. I look to my right and to my left; I am in a hotel room. My clothing is off and porn is playing on the television. What the fuck just happened and who the hell was she. I thought for a minute and stood up and went to the restroom. Condom wrappers everywhere in the restroom, I pissed and pissed in four streams.

A note was lying near the mirror.

“Chris, I realized the story I told you would scare you and you would have left the bar. I would have never had a chance to do what I did to you last night if I have not . . . well you get the idea. Till next time. Kelly.”

I left the hotel in a trance and drove off trying to forget this ever happened but, what did happen? This thought alone is going to drive me into psychosis.



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Comments

The following comments are for "The Writing Challenge -- The Winner is NucleusFire!"
by OchaniLele

@ everyone!
Remember this month's writing challenge!

The January Writing Challenge: You are an older man or woman, in your 80s; and for the first time in 50 years, you are visiting your ancestral home. Write a vivid, sensory-rich description of this place, and include a "twist" to the story. Perhaps a child you meet, who you discover is related to you by blood, or perhaps new owners of the house of your youth. Make this "twist" as unrealistic or surprising as you wish, but write it into your story so that it is believable, an organic extension of your memories that shows life is a never-ending circle. Be creative!

To clarify -- please submit here on litdotorg under the category "Writing Challenge." In the title, simply write "January Writing Challenge."

I look forward to friendly competition!

Ochani

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Member] On: December 29, 2008 )

January challenge
I read the guidelines; "all subject must be PG." This seems to have missed that mark. Am I in a time warp?

( Posted by: KateLouise [Member] On: April 2, 2009 )

@KateLouise
It is true -- all subjects must be PG. No cursing in subjects.

That, however, applies to the subject line in comments. You are reading the commenting guidelines.

Ochani

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Member] On: April 3, 2009 )

@ KateLousie again
Here are the rules regarding submissions with sexual content, just in case you needed to see them:

5.3.1 We do NOT accept Adult, Pornographic, or Erotica

There are no exceptions. It's okay to talk about sex in your story, but it's not okay to describe it. This is in no way meant to judge a work based on it's sexual content. If a story contains sexual content, it will be reviewed by the staff. If we find the story to be too descriptive or adult in nature, it will be rejected without warning. This is never a personal decision, nor do we find it offensive. We simply don't allow adult, pornographic, or erotic stories here at Lit.Org. Lit.Org and it's staff are the sole arbiters when deciding what is acceptable and what isn't.

Best:
Ochani Lele

( Posted by: OchaniLele [Member] On: April 3, 2009 )





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