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Do you want to try something new? It's called PARALLELISMUS MEMBRORUM it is of Hebrew origin. It has lines of parallel construction and presents antitheses and complementary extensions. The lines are usually short and contain three or four words...Here is my try at it...


The silent mist
screams my name.
Tortured, miserable, soul
is now at peace.
It's freezing breath
heats my longing heart.
Go to the light
fade into the darkness.

As you can see silent, screams
tortured , at peace
freezing, heats
light, darkness

I thought this was a darn good thread exercise and it had over 10,000 hits but no takers...It's not that hard...Let's do it for Lena...Kacee

Kacee Huggs

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The following comments are for "A new old thread from 2006"
by Nitz Kitty

The only thing I can say to try to make this more clear is that each line has total opposites in them...I'm certainly not a great poet I just like to dabble every once in awhile, but thanks for liking the poem I posted...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: December 26, 2008 )

Come on people this is good poetic exercise
His icy touch
started my blood boiling
Through unspeakable hatred
I felt true love
Every brutal beating
was a sweet caress
When death took me
I became alive

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

Hi Kacee--Thanks!
I know you are sick, and I am about to into surgery myself, yesterday, I had another of a million doc appointments in preparation. More to come, so I am grateful you gave me this as a challenge, but it is beyond me maybe? I have never done this, not sure if I have it even close, but I have a very long epic poem from which I took pieces of in tribute to "Queen Esther" who saved the Jewish people by basically whoring herself to the evil King who had dominion over her people. This is a small excerpt from that, does it go right, or please explain further. Fascinating that you did this, I have never heard of this form before, and I am of Hebrew ancestry, thought I was a smarty pants who knew it all, but you have proved me

You hated his touch
the dark King,
whoring your body
so that your people
would not die...

Your story will live
forever as a warning
that evil will always
be destroyed, Wake up!

All those dark Kings
and creatures who speak
of protecting freedom,

while keeping caged
the truths of God's
greatness and justice.

The wicked brought
will be brought
to their knees,
and made to pay...

Esther, you gave them
everything, it was bittersweet
a sacrificial victory,

the nation lives...

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

KACEE's THREAD...another try...
(Ok, got it, I think, each line is opposite in storyline? here is a small portion of what I wrote above revived, more to come, if I can do it, this is pretty crappy, I will have to keep working on it, first one above sounded better but did not fit your format;-)

You hated his touch
your heart was thrilled
you knew his evil
The good are saved

Whoring your body
A woman of virtue
Esther, the righteous queen
Manipulates the evil king

A bittersweet sacrifice
Taste the delicious victory
slowly you soul dies
as the nation lives

Evil on it's knees
your people are free
The king ravaged you
Queen giving everything

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

I think she's got it
That was wonderful...It's not that hard after all...but it makes you think...It helps to challenge yourself once in awhile...Lit has challenged me more than once on these threads and I love it...Lit has helped me grow as a person and poet...Thanks for giving me this chance...I hope others will give this style a try...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

Queen Esther, KACEE THREAD...I got it? HOORAY!
OK--now I know where to take it from is a long Epic Poem, my Queen Esther Tribute, never I will be taking more from it as we go along...hope like you requested that other's such as Bea, and Ivor, Eric, Ogg, etc., who are your friends will join in and keep YOUR THREAD going..this is a FUN CHALLENGE!
Blessing to you, good health, and happy New Year to come soon;-) You are a jewel...a woman of virtue, which reminds me of another Jewish poem I am thinking of working on...A WOMAN of VIRTUE worth more than RUBIES..(Hebrew prayer said by the husband to his wife on Shabbat evening ceremony every Friday)...yeah! Thanks, Kacee, you have taken me from this thread to more ideas of heroic Jewish Women in the Bible...etc.--maybe I will do one on RUTH next, my Hebrew name. Yep...lots of ideas.

OK, I will work on it more and come up with more lines from the Epic, and maybe publish the entire poem Epic poem, as it was original soon too, before my surgery.

May all your friends at Lit.Org join in this thread who care about you, considering you are sick and still you came through, you are a price above rubies, like the line from the prayer of a woman of virtue. Yep, that's Kacee;-)

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

Kacee's friends? THREAD FUN, come here, eh?
Where is your team spirit, and LOVE for Kacee and her efforts? Do it for Kacee;-) Have some FUN with her thread?

( Posted by: TheRealKarmaTseringLhamo [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

The thread
Thanks to Lena ...
Eric...You did a good job ...Thank you for joining in...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: December 27, 2008 )

Sorry Kacee...couldn't quite get the hang of it.
Your body died
But your soul lives on
I visit the garden, parched and dead
That once was alive and blooming
My heart warms with remembrance
But my soul is cold with grief

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

Bea's beautiful poem
Bea... That was wonderful...You got it just fine...Thanks for your contribution ...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

God or Devil's spell?
The dead are alive in spirit you know,
born again as they died in order to go.
Some are in Heaven, while some are in Hell
it's the same, it's not different,
some ill and some well.

For dead or alive, becomes pride or shame,
depends if your infamous or glowing with fame.
If your shy or bold, or run hot and cold,
you'll have to then to listen to what you are told.

For 'like attracts like', if you dislike this law,
you'd be better blind to the things that you saw
when you were living, before you were dead,
for your final awaking, is your death's sleeping bed!

Take heed or ignore me, in whisper or shout
what I tell you is certain so please have no doubt
You'll be active when resting in Heaven or Hell
for the God or the Devil that held you in their spell!

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

opposites attract
Yes Eric....Her heart is warm and soul is that fits the poem quite well...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

Thanks Eric...BUT!
Thanks Eric, would mar the cadence of the poem...too many sylabbles. I equated WARM with remembrance, with COLD with grief...flows better.

As for YOU Ivor...right on as usual!!!!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

Ivor put a spell on me!
Ivor...You always WOW me...a great contribution to the thread...Thanks ...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

Ivor's Ramblings!

No need for thanks, just buy my book when it hits at the end of January! :)

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: December 28, 2008 )

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