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I have had a very strange past few months thus far and some of the events have been very difficult for me to understand. Here I hope I don't bore you or bother you too much with this. But here goes for now----I had a very horrible labor day weekend as certain events of my past caught to me, in a very strange fashion. Many years ago in college I was involved with a wonderful lady who was bold and daring and smart and funny.
She was beautiful beyond belief to me, and she touched a certain part of my heart very deeply. She always knew how to touch me and what to say to me. All those years ago she left to go home for labor day weekday and she was killed by a drunk driver in a terrible automobile accident. We buried her days later and I felt like I died with her on that day as well.
I somehow got past it for a long time now. Well a few months for some unknown reason I went to the grave of Miss M. (For the first time in 28 yrs) and I ran into her parents there and I suprised them. That even so many years have passed I still cared very deeply for their late daughter. They didn't know that I still missed her after all of these years.
We shared some stories and shared some memories of her and I and they were elated, because for so brief a time they felt she came to life through me even if for so short a time. They were very very happy to see me and hear my stories. They in fact called me later in the week and gave me a very old photograph of her and I together. They also gave me her journal which she used to write down poems and her thoughts in it and she also drew many pictures (She was a good artist as well) when she felt happy or sad. She loved to write and she loved to sing also.
I have always felt very badly because while I told Miss M. a lot of things I have long wondered if she knew how deeply I loved her. I never really got the chance to tell her "The Words," I always figured that there was lots of time to say all those things and in truth there was so little time. As I read her words she came to life to me through her words and drawings. They were so powerful and strong today just as when she must have written them all those years ago. She wrote some poems about her and I and she wrote some songs about us together. She knew all of my deepest feelings for her--she knew what I had hidden in my heart so deeply.
She was happy to have me in her life, and I suddenly felt so unworthy of her. In her final entry she wrote that she was leaving on her trip but once she got back she and I were going to have a very long talk. When she got back she was going to smother me with kisses and all the love I had so long denied myself. She said she knew that my stern exterior was a mask and that although I was outside strong she knew inside I was very kind and gentle. She wanted to show me a new world unfettered by fear and the base things which I had endured in the past. In the back of the Journal was a picture of me holding her in front of me we were seated on a grassy glade. I had long forgotten that photograph. I saw her hands were holding mine close to her as my arms were wrapped around her, and I suddenly remembered it all! She knew it all and she understand how much I cared about her and she never said it to me at least not in the way that lovers should, but she intended too when she returned from her trip.
This is the rest of the story now the drunk driver who killed her went to prison and he cursed her parents and I during the court trial. Over the years it has always been there deep inside of me---my hatred for this man because he wrecked many lives on that day. He had gotten out of prison recently and he wanted to meet with her parents and I. He said he wanted to be forgiven for having performed so thoughtless an act. In the eyes of God he wanted to meet us in the presence of a minister and ask for forgiveness.
I finally agreed to met this dirtbag with his minister and her parents that fateful Sunday. When I got there my heart was as hard as diamond because I absolutely Hated this man--this Smart@*** who smirked at us in the courtroom.
At first I was so very hard and cold with him. Even the minister was suprised at me he wanted me to show compassion and mercy. I opened her journal and it opened to something she had written for me to read I persume. She wrote "Suffer not a man that he is greater then his creator, but show mercy and forgiveness to those that have wronged us. Succor the weak and heal the sick and extend your greatness for thou becomes as great as the Creator has made us all in his great love and mercy. Never forget me my love--my Kord for I am always within your heart a part of you always now and forevermore!"
Those words cut me to the quick and I suddenly looked at him and saw not a ex-con, but a very old and sad looking man who made a very terrible mistake that fateful day and affected all of our lives. I forgave him and he cried in front of all of us and he told her parents he wished he could go back and change it all. If he could he would give up his life to bring her back but he couldn't. He had been bitter for so many long years, and now at the end of his life he wanted to get everything straighened out with people and his family as well. He lost them while he was in prison. Who was I to hold it over him and believe I was holier then he! After all a greater man then myself died on a crucifix for the sins of the world and he had greater forgiveness then I!
So as you can see my past few months have been somewhat difficult--well very hard on me. I've managed to put some things into perspective and it has been hard to see things clearly, but I learned to let the blackness slip aways from my soul as it had poisoned me for so many years.
So as you read the story consider where the emotions and feelings are intertwined within the plot.
A Dark Knight Or A Dark Angel?---Depends On How You Look At It!
Another Dark Knight’s Tale:
The Passion Of The Dark Knight!
This is another Dark Knight’s tale before the veil of Darkness was lifted and the Shadows of the Night passed forth from his eyes!
Once upon a time in that land beyond all lands there dwelt another champion of mortal men simply known as the Dark Knight.
He was known not by a name but by a title, and therefore the mortals shunned him because he felt different as such; for although he was a powerful hero and a brave and daring Knight none knew the truth of his mind nor of his heart!
He performed many wonderful deeds of courage and he completed many labors of strength and he only hoped to help other mortals in their quest of living each and every day.
He stayed apart and observed mortals from afar, because he felt uncomfortable and alone because he was unlike others as he had been created and not born of mortal woman.
The Touch of the Erü the Almighty Father of all things was within his heart and soul, and thus he stronger and more powerful then most other humans.
He was infused with the power of a God, and therefore he was not mortal and not truly divine but something somewhere truly in-between.
He could therefore use his immense power to defeat the armies of the night and he could destroy the stygian creatures of the abyss, but he wisely kept his own council.
Often he simply watched the affairs of mortal men as they hurried about their lives never stopping to observe the passing of the years and of the precious time!
On this day the Dark Knight was seated beneath a very ancient Oak tree and he was strumming his lyre with sadness and despair.
As he played his music many thoughts came within his mind and he thought of her—The Lady Brianna and as he thought of her many beautiful and wonderful thoughts entered his mind.
His mind wondered and raced with many thoughts of her and suddenly he stopped and he sat very still and placed his right hand upon the burial mound covered with new grass.
His left eye began to moisten with teardrops and he felt a great sadness and he felt so alone and empty.
His mind often wondered to that day several months ago when she was with him and made him laugh truly as a man and he felt true and free and he chased her across the meadow.
He remembered that day when she teased him mercilessly, and he playfully chased this one special lady and he sang to her…..something he had never done before---in his entire life for anyone!
She teased him about his hair, about his scars on his face and she picked at him and pulled his hair until he could stand it no more and he chased her around the meadow and around the trees.
All the while laughter abounded and he was happy and free and his soul and spirit was soaring upon the winds of time and space. For this was a time of forgetfullness and tender happiness as he had never known in life!
In the midst of this happiness and laughter He---The Black Knight came upon both the Dark Knight and Lady Brianna as they teased and chased each other in the forest by the white cliffs.
He—The Black Knight of black armor and standard of darkness and shadows unfurled came upon the two of them while mounted upon a black stallion and he did challenge the power of the Dark Knight!
Although the Dark Knight was on foot he still fought the Black Knight bravely with his sword only and the Black Knight attacked him with great brutality and savagery!
He charged the Dark Knight and cleaved his armored hauberk with his lance and injured the Knight with many deep wounds as he fell attempting to defend the lady Brianna and himself.
The Lady Brianna ran to the side of the Dark Knight and helped him to his feet for he had fallen from the brutal blows of the Black Knight.
His armor was rent and broken in many places and he was wounded and bleeding from the savage attacks of the Black Knight who laughed voraciously!
The Black Knight dismounted and he let his black stallion stride away from him, and he charged the Dark Knight with his long lance.
He struck the Dark Knight several times with fierceness and great power and he wounded the Knight several more times with the point of his spear.
The Dark Knight attempted to defend himself but he had already received many serious wounds and he was weakened greatly he pushed the Lady Brianna behind him in the attempt to defend her person.
“Prepare thyself for death now Knight for I have searched long and hard to destroy thee!”
“Thou art as a fool defending these foolish mortals and what hast thou gained from thy labors?”
“What doest thou wish to have with these foolish mortals a life? Respect and admiration? A Promise of tomorrow? A love for the ages? Bah thou art a fool if thou so desireth those things.”
The Dark Knight looked upon the Black Knight blood dripping from many wounds and he said, “I seek my own peace and satisfaction, and I live for honor and duty and the Lady Brianna’s favor!”
The Black Knight sneered and stated in a loud voice, “Naked power is the only thing that matters in life everything else is as nothing---raw power is the only thing that masters all!”
He again struck the Dark Knight heavily with his lance and it drew forth many droplets of crimson upon its tip.
“Time to Die Dark Knight!” Shouted the Black Knight as he lunged forward with all of his might into the Dark Knight he sent forth the head of the spear!
“No don’t touch him,” shouted the Lady Brianna as she interposed her body between both of the battling Knights.
Suddenly the Black Knight felt the impact of his spear as it penetrated the breast of Lady Brianna!
The head of the large spear tore through both her clothing and her body as she was pierced in a deft harsh manner by the Black Knight!
Shouted the Dark Knight as he grabbed her body quickly as she began to fall to the ground he dropped his sword as he used both hands stop her fall.
The Black Knight yanked the shaft of the large spear from Lady Brianna’s body.
“NO--that wasn’t supposed to happen, only your death Dark one not the Lady Brianna!”
The Dark Knight held the Lady Brianna to his breast for she had fallen against him and her dress was becoming scarlet quickly from her huge gaping wounds, he immediately dropped to his knees.
“Thou canst naught die Lady Brianna---thou canst not leave me alone in this life!”
“Please don’t die young miss, I canst naught live without thee what will I do without thy divine spark within my life or my heart!” said the Dark knight holding her closely to him self as he cradled her closely to his body.
Lady Brianna looked up at the face of the Dark Knight and gently touched his scarred face with her bloodied hand and she traced his face with her fingers.
“My loving Dark Knight thou willst always be within mine own heart for it is thine for all eternity now!”
“My gentle warrior take great joy that mine own spirit willst always be within thy heart and soul, and we will meet again in the hereafter.”
The Dark Knight bent down and he did kiss the Lady Brianna’s lips for her breathing was becoming labored and irregular.
“Each kiss is like a soft touch of heaven from thee my Warrior Knight---Konnor please never lose thy way nor lose thy faith but always believe in the power that thou doest have within thy nobility and thy spirit.”
“Use all thy power to heal and give others hope and protection as is needed, never forget those who need a true champion as thou wert meant to be---I will always love thee my Lord Konnor!”
She told the Dark Knight with immense sadness.
Konnor—The Dark Knight held her close to him as tears streamed down his scarred cheek, “My Lady Brianna I canst naught ever forget thee My Lady!”
She looked long and deeply into the eyes of the Dark Knight and smiled all the while caressing his cheek with her bloodied hand.
Suddenly her eyes lids fluttered slowly and closed softly and her hand dropped to her side limply.
The Dark Knight’s body was racked with silent sobs of animal pain and fury and many tears streamed down his face and the three vertical scars upon his face became scarlet in color to mark his pain and anger.
The Black Knight mounted his huge black stallion without a word. He turned his steed in the opposite direction, and he said, “Take Heed Dark Knight for I never meant her death to happen in this manner. The Lady Brianna was a good and pure and noble lady!”
“I salute her heart and spirit for thou wast most fortunate to have had her love ever so briefly within thy life!”
“I will take my leave of thee now, but when next we meet it will be for the death of one of us, and not all the tears within the world will stop my own sword.”
“For the moment Sir Dark Knight I grieve with thee at mine own foolish pride and stupidity that caused such a folly for thou didst not deserve such a fate.”
“Bold Dark Knight I salute thee as an enemy, rest and heal and bury the Lady Brianna and grieve for we will meet again and settle this duel once and for all.”
The Black Knight turned and rode away and only the wind drifted around the trees and whispered of the death of so noble and pure a lady, as if her spirit was being carried upon the currents of the air.
Konnor--The Dark Knight cradled the body of Lady Brianna for what seemed like hours and he was savaged deep within his very heart as he felt his it being torn apart as if by wild beasts.
For the Black Knight had given unto this very special Dark Knight—Konnor a wound deep within his heart and soul that would never heal!
The Dark Knight shook his head and put those memories and thoughts aside for they filled him with a great sadness and pain still many months later!
He stood up suddenly and he stopped playing the lyre. He suddenly cried out from his great anguish and his damaged heart and soul screamed in sorrow.
He took the lyre and he did gaze upon its construction and its strings, it was very old but the Lady Brianna when alive loved to hear him play it for her.
She often teased him until he played it for her and only for her pleasure.
He laid the Lyre upon the burial mound, and he mounted the great white stallion that was armored such as he was armored.
He gazed once more at the grave and his left eye moistened and several tears ran down his scarred cheek.
It was time to journey now and seek out the Black Knight and end this confrontation forevermore.
The Dark Knight reared up his great steed and he began to ride far and wide searching for the Black Knight.
As he rode forth his eyes began to burn with a crimson light almost as madness and many swore he appeared if he were the God of War himself.
He would soon discern that foul creature of a Knight, and he would destroy him for all eternity!
As he rode on feverishly all creatures and all peoples hurried out of his way for he resembled some Demon of madness and despair and his very appearance frightened all who beheld his visage!
The Dark Knight rode onward with one purpose to find the Black Knight and destroy him for all time!
Ever forward he rode through the forests and trees and throughout the cities he forced himself to ride further and farther ever searching for the Black Knight!
For many months he searched and the peoples and animals of the cities and forests feared his coming for his very eyes smoldered with a crimson brightness as of a fearsome questing God of Death!
On this day he came upon a clearing upon a cliff overlooking the crashing waves of the sea—and there he stood—The Black Knight revealed in all of his glory and power!
The sky was filled with many black clouds of darkness and lightening flashed rigorously across the sky and it lighted the cliffs with bright flashes.
The visions of darkness and dancing shadows appeared everywhere all about the Black Knight and the Dark Knight as they faced each other.
The Dark Knight dismounted his horse and drew his sword and said, “Prepare thyself sir for now is the moment in which thou doth die!”
The Black Knight replied,
“We will meet in the middle where the darkness meets the light in a circle!”
“We will meet locked in death foul monster,”
Said the Dark Knight in a cold deep voice!
The lightening crashed with great harshness and the land alighted with flashes of shadows and darkness as figures moved and sparks flew about from the clashing of both sword and battle ax.
The Black Knight battled with a great battle ax and he attacked the Dark Knight with great power and strength he hefted the ax with fierceness and fury.
The Dark Knight returned his fury with his own wrath and determined force of power he struck the Black Knight again and again.
More lightening flashes light up the sky and caused elongated shadows of figures to appear upon the ground and the trees that battled back and forth as the wind blew fiercely and both Knights battled on with great intensity and hatred.
Again and again many sparks flew and the sounds of the weapons crashing were drowned out by the sound of the waves crashing against the cliffs and the violent thunder from the gathering storm.
The Black Knight swung his great ax at the Dark knight who attempted to parry the motion with his sword and it shattered into a thousand shards broken with a jagged jutting edge in the hilt!
The Black Knight brought his huge battle-ax downward and chopped at the Dark Knight with it while the Dark Knight leaped aside.
The ax became embedded into a huge boulder and the Black Knight attempted to pull it free from the large boulder.
The Dark Knight saw his opportunity and he leaped forward and brought what was left of his sword downward upon the gauntleted hand of the Black Knight as he was attempting to free his ax.
The Black Knight cried out in pain and suddenly a black gauntlet fell to the ground and a pool of scarlet appeared around it.
The Black Knight fell to his knees and grasped his right arm to his breast and he grimaced in great pain at the injury to his arm.
Scarlet tongues appeared on his black cuirass as he attempted to tie the wound off with a scarf which he was wearing.
The Dark Knight now stood over him with the shattered sword and he took the jagged point and placed it upon the throat of the Black Knight.
“Now thy time is at hand evil Knight, for I am avenging the death of Lady Brianna, for honor and for her!” Shouted the Dark Knight as he slowly leaned upon the hilt of the sword.
“Sir Knight I yield unto thee please---do not take my life---as it is the only possession that I have left—I have nothing more!”
“The Lady Brianna would never have desired thou to kill so wantonly, after all thou art naught a murderer—thou art naught such as I am!”
The Dark Knight halted suddenly and he starred into the eyes of the Black Knight.
As he gazed long and hard for many minutes and suddenly the crimson color of his eyes began to fade away and they became normal again.
The blood-red color of his scars on his face also began to fade away and he also began to regain his composure as he was a noble Knight and he knew he wasn’t a vainglorious killer.
He was a defender and a protector and he was the champion for those who had no voice no hope no future.
The Dark Knight knew in that moment that he was not a wanton slayer, but a man of duty and honor, and that was why the Lady Brianna had loved him because of his immense compassion and his quality of mercy!
Suddenly he began to remember that he was a Knight of the Old code and therefore he must uphold his Knight’s oath!
He removed the jagged sword from the throat of the Black Knight and he threw it over the cliffs by the sea and it fell into the onrushing waters below.
The storm was beginning to abate somewhat and the wind was dying down the lightening was becoming less now and the storm was moving on away from the cliffs!
The Dark Knight spoke aloud,
“Get thee gone Black Knight never perform any future deeds as thou hast done for I give thee thy life out of the respect and----the love that I had for Lady Brianna!”
“I will take my leave of thee Dark One, and history will eventually forget me, but there will be other Black Knights that will come to battle thee!”
“Although I leave this place after losing my hand it will never end for you Dark Knight! It will never stop and you will never have peace of mind---only more pain and suffering more endless combat!”
“All because those doth not use thy power to enrich thyself maybe rule over a kingdom, thou art a fool not to use thy power for self-gain,” he said through his pain assailed him from his missing hand!
The Dark Knight mounted his great stallion and he stopped in front of the now fallen Black Knight and he stated, “Thou hast no thought as to the benefit of the mortals that we make a difference to them and it improves their life-path while they live in this world.
“Thou and others like thee have never understood why it is that that those such as myself perform many such deeds not simply out of duty, but out of admiration and our great love for our fellow mortals. “
“That was why the Lady Brianna cared about me and not for such as thou and others as such thyself. She believed in my faith and my courage to share my force for the good of mortals even if it means mine own death!”
“The old code must be followed and the mortals need us as leaders and champions not feckless despots’!”
Konnor-The Dark Knight turned and rode his steed back the way he came and he returned to his life for the pain and the madness were all but forgotten.
He never forgot the lessons he learned this day, and he also never forgot the love of the Lady Brianna—his dear and sweet lady of life and love!
The time would some day come that he would know true peace and the strife would end as the passing of the many long years would come; and in time he would have his life returned unto him as well.
For there will comes a time whence all heroes and champions will not be needed for each mortal may become his own hero or champion!
And from the distance Erü the father of all things and the Lady Anna watched and listened and grieved for the Dark Knight was learning and changing with the passage of time so he would be soon be ready for all challenges that may come in this great life of mortal man!
Knights Code of Chivalry:
The Knights Code of Chivalry and the vows of Knighthood
Described in the Song of Roland:
To fear God and maintain His Church
To serve the liege lord in valor and faith
To protect the weak and defenseless
To give succor to widows and orphans
To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
To live by honor and for glory
To despise pecuniary reward
To fight for the welfare of all
To obey those placed in authority
To guard the honor of fellow knights
To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
To keep faith
At all times to speak the truth
To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
To respect the honor of women
Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
Never to turn the back upon a foe