I saw six missed calls on my phone as I left work. There was one from mom, two from sis, three from Sean. I got a glint in my eye. I lifted my eyebrow in interest. As I got in the car I dialed his number. “What’s going on Sean?”
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“What are you doing?”
“I’m about to go home, why?”
“No you’re not. You’re coming over here with me.”
“Am I now?”
“Be here in ten? We’ll meet you.”
“See you in a minute.”
I hung up the phone and laughed to myself as a feeling akin to running with the devil sprung into my stomach. It was going to be an interesting night. That was for sure.
The next morning I woke up and my limbs felt like dirt. I remembered the bruises on my neck and thought about what had happened last night. I don’t think I’ll do that again, I thought. Mom came in all sunshine and daisies. She asked what time I got in. I thought to myself, 4:00 am. I said, “1:00 am? I’m not sure it was late.” The lie rolled off my tongue and out my lips. An image of lips flashed through my mind. I made myself get out of bed.
In the bathroom I looked at myself. My neck was covered in purple marks. My eyes were puffy. My skin was peaky and pale and the purple splotches stood out on my neck. Hmm. How am I going to fix this one? I thought about what had happened.
When I went to meet Sean I had some clue of what was going on. I knew through my loose sense of morality that I shouldn’t have gone up there in the first place. It’s a lot more exciting to contradict yourself. Where’s the fun in all work and responsibility? That’s boring. You never can tell what you’re going to get your self into if you just go with what ever comes along.
Andy and Michael had already started to drink when I got there. Sean was still sober and waiting for me. He tried to play my arrival down. Mr. Macho. I thought to myself. Hmph, we’d see about that. I leaned in too close to him and said, “Hola chico, quieres a me?”
“Never mind, I’ll explain it later.” He was already hooked from the goodbye kiss I’d given him the other day. He wanted to know what I was about. And I wasn’t about to let him find out. Not yet any way.
“Um, okay. Whatever.”
We walked over to Michael and Andy who were leaning on each other laughing. Michael saw me and winked. I hadn’t guessed that at his level of intoxication he would even be able to do that. He looked at me and raised his eyebrow, pointing in the direction of Sean, who had wandered off to talk to a few friends. I shook my head at him. I still hadn’t decided where I would let this go. I sauntered off to talk to a few kids I knew. All of a sudden Michael picked up Andy and was spinning him around the yard. It was such a bizarre sight. Andy fell with a loud thud. Then he rolled over onto his belly and threw up every where. I just sighed. I hoped no one would step in that.
Sean came over to me with two beers in his hand. “Are you driving tonight?”
I replied, “I have to get home some how.”
“Well, I guess you can’t have either one of these.”
“You don’t think I can handle my self?”
“I don’t doubt you, but I don’t want you to get hurt.” Then he slammed both of the beers down.
I wondered to myself, and its okay for you to self destruct? He ran off and jumped on Michael. I stood back and watched them at their antics. Suddenly they stopped, and blearily looked at me. I could see what they wanted to do. I started to run around the yard. “No, you wouldn’t. Sean! Sean! You’d better not!” I screamed. They swooped down on me . They started spinning me as they had done with Andy and a few of the other guys. I began to laugh. The few sips of beer I’d snuck we’re tickling my belly as I was whirled through the air. All of a sudden Michael stumbled on a tree root and we all tumbled to the ground. We couldn’t stop laughing.
We stumbled back to Sean’s house. I could feel the forty minute drive ahead of me. It stretched out before me as the minutes ticked by. We lay on the couch for a while. He was so anxiously oblivious; I kept waiting for the ticking time bomb to explode. The tension became so tight that neither of us could breathe; he got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back he stumbled into a wall and fell down. I got up to see if he was alright. I kneeled down next to him. “Come on get up.”
“Come on now. Let’s get up from the floor.”
“You should just stay down here with me.”
“I don’t want to hear it. Get up.” I stood up and tugged at his arm. He lay there like a petulant child. I thought about his statement. “Stay down here with me.” It was an invitation I didn’t want to refuse. Instead I kept pulling at his arm until he finally got aggravated with me and staggered up. “Where do you want to sit?” I questioned.
“It doesn’t matter to me. Would you like to see my room?” He was trying to be sexy.
“Well, that depends what will I find in there?” I answered playfully.
“A blanket…with me under it.” He implied suggestively
“Hmm, I like the sound of that.” I agreed.
I quietly followed behind him as he stomped through the house. We slipped under the covers and he started to nuzzle me. He was being a little too rough with his kisses, and it was like a battle between us. I understood what our baser natures desperately wanted, and I almost felt as though I was fighting against every powerful force in the universe. They tried to guide me to do what I already wanted to do. I kept whispering, “easy, easy.” He ignored me.
At the right moment Andy burst in, “Hey Sean, Oh, I, um. I’ll go wait outside.”
I rolled over, “No, it’s fine. I was just leaving.”
“Are you sure, because I mean, it’s totally cool…”
A voice interrupted him, “No, she really was just leaving. Sean, I thought I told you to have her out of here by 1:00. Why the Hell is she still here?”
“Mom, its okay, stop freaking out. We weren’t even doing anything.”
“Get. Out. Now.” She gritted through her teeth. What was I supposed to say? I had just been seriously busted. I threw my shoes on and quickly walked out to my car. Sean followed me to say good bye. He threw his arm around me and whispered for me to be careful. He looked a little more sober now then he had been. I couldn’t decide which way I liked him better; sober or drinking. I only said, “Get inside and go sleep it off. I’ll call you in the morning.” He looked almost offended as I got into the car. I wondered what else he wanted from me. I said good night again and began that arduous drive home.
Does the wadded up paper ball or the bowling ball fall faster?