I had a dream that I met
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Santogold and she told me
a secret...She said
"Burns"...she calls me
Burns in my dreams...
Everybody calls me Burns
in my dreams..."Burns...
why does Count Dracula insist
on blowing up only the green
balloons? Everybody knows
its not a party till some
Blue Balloons are Blown..."
Then she leans over and pukes
on my lap...
I have really crappy dreams...
The polar bears danced by one at a time...
They were sick and tired..well more sick
than tired...ice was hard to come by...
so was fishes and seals...so instead of
menacing Alaskan assholes and tourists
they decided to dance instead... One
polar bear in particular...lets call him
Paul...he was as graceful as a swan...
So graceful that the other polar bears decided
Paul would make a better girl polar bear...
Paul is now known as Estelle...
I would not be a good National Geographic Narrator...
The shopping bag was so heavy that Mindy Wendlechance
caught hand cancer...The doctors had never seen anything
like it before...consumer cancer they call it now...
The Earth is really really smart...Humans are really really
dumb...Put that new waffle iron down while theres still
time...or else...or else hand cancer lies in your insipid
I am not a spokesman for the American Medical Association...
Terence Patrick Burns