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You could tell people the story
Of how I broke your heart
When in reality it was really
I who fell apart.

When a young handsome angel
Turned beauty into sin
There was nothing left to live for
But tears and lots of Gin.

That angel lost its halo
And lost control of its wings
So now a human soul it's become
Forgetting the song it sings.

------
Who Are We If We Cannot Imagine Peace?


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The following comments are for "Deception Point"
by FishyPickles232

giving good title
'lo FP, nice to see you again, and nice to read something with a lyrical bent, too... really enjoyed the title. there are vanishing points, after all, so why not a deception point? nice metaphysical idea...

third line of the first stanza has one to many reallys, and I'd also try and tweak the syllable count a little, so readers don't trip over their tongues... other than that, this is a short, sharp piece with plenty of piquant sadness... glad you're still writing, long may it continue.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 11, 2008 )





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