Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(2 votes)


RatingRated by
10Rogan
10TheTesticularPr..

You must login to vote

Cat and Jack
07/31/08


Listing headlong astride the tide
Astride her waning pride
Cat wept for jack
Who did not weep for her
Gone to sea as well, he
Surveyed somewhere northward
Coming only in ferocity
As cat looked south
Where he was never there
And she never dressed to greet him

He was never there
The bed was cold
And so she headed north to meet him

------
039298f3@opayq.com


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Cat and Jack"
by SirEdwinSantos

Paced nicely
Even though the flow is a bit non-conventional, poetically of course, I like how you've set a nice pace. The opening lines "Listing headlong astride the tide/Astride her waning pride" seem to do that in my mind. The tide and her pride are both constant, deliberate, yet forever changing pace, increasing/decreasing, rising/falling. It sets a very natural movement to the poem.

The last lines add a very pleasant finish, a nice bit of outward movement. I think a good poem should have those elements, time, movement, personality...and more of course.

Nicely written

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: