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Cat and Jack

Listing headlong astride the tide
Astride her waning pride
Cat wept for jack
Who did not weep for her
Gone to sea as well, he
Surveyed somewhere northward
Coming only in ferocity
As cat looked south
Where he was never there
And she never dressed to greet him

He was never there
The bed was cold
And so she headed north to meet him


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The following comments are for "Cat and Jack"
by SirEdwinSantos

Paced nicely
Even though the flow is a bit non-conventional, poetically of course, I like how you've set a nice pace. The opening lines "Listing headlong astride the tide/Astride her waning pride" seem to do that in my mind. The tide and her pride are both constant, deliberate, yet forever changing pace, increasing/decreasing, rising/falling. It sets a very natural movement to the poem.

The last lines add a very pleasant finish, a nice bit of outward movement. I think a good poem should have those elements, time, movement, personality...and more of course.

Nicely written


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 15, 2008 )

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