Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
10

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
10TheRealKarmaTse..

You must login to vote

You who walk along the brown river
With your hair spreading like a flock of crows
You who walk along the brown river
And leave no reflection in the muddy waters
You who walk along the brown river
Covered in a dark mantle glittering with stars
You who walk along the brown river
And make the willows lean and kiss your steps
You who walk along the brown river
Who are you ? Where are you heading ?
And who am I ?


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Questions asked"
by Paradox

along the brown river

actually very Zen, this, the refrain almost forming a mantra, the questions the search for illumination/ truth...

like the way this poem builds to a moment of realisation, but leaves the reader with a question, allowing them to take up the chant and make the mantra their own… hypnotic.


( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 1, 2008 )

Intriguing
Lovely poem, lovely rhythm throughout, but it falls apart at the end. Tries to hard to be zen-like, provocative, but there aren't any ideas there that we haven't seen a hundred times before, and the end doesn't really follow from what's come before.

I really liked the first nine lines, though.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: November 3, 2008 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: