--Quiz Show Host-- Thank you--thank you one and all--we're back with our "Turnabout" edition of "Do They Get It," which means that we'll be raising questions about the opposition party this time--maybe yours and then again maybe not. We don't play favorites on this program--much. And with us again is Jack, our player from yesterday. Welcome back, Jack. Don't forget that in addition to all the money you could win, you still could say the magic word and win o-n-e m-i-l-l-i-o-n dollars!
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--Contestant-- Aw-w-w--Ri-i-i-ght! Let's bring it ow-w-wn!
--Quiz Show Host-- We've also been reminding our viewers that this is "away" week and as everyone at home can see, Jack is with us once again through the magic of televideo, which gives us the chance to feature a guest now and then who is in the process of paying his debt to society, as it were. Now Jack, yesterday you had two wrong answers, so you have two strikes and no money at this point. I guess I don't have to tell you, Jack, of all people, to beware of that third strike. Are you ready, my friend?
--Contestant-- Ready as I'll ever be. Let's go for it!
--Quiz Show Host-- Okay, Jack, we're in the quickie round so be on your toes. Here's your first question. Which is more detrimental to the concept of holy matrimony--in other words, "till death us do part," and "that which hath been created by God let no man put asunder?" Would it come from same-sex marriage or through the well-worn practice of routine divorce?
--Contestant-- Same-sex marriage.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Who owns the right of a woman to govern the functioning of her own body even though she, herself, may have been the victim of a crime . . .the fetus or the mother?
--Contestant-- The fetus.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Where is an innocent child more likely to encounter a pedophile. . .near a school playground or in a church basement?
--Contestant-- Near a playground.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Where is a child at the greatest risk for psycho-sexual abuse. . .with a stranger or with a family member?
--Contestant-- With a stranger.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Given the notion that human life is sacrosanct, who nonetheless is more deserving of the death penalty. . .a child killer or hired gun who kills bad guys for a living?
--Contestant-- A child killer.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Which is not always a crime, police torture of suspects. . .or G.I torture of prisoners?
--Contestant-- G.I. torture of prisoners.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! In the American geopolitical landscape, which political philosophy identifies most closely with the unholy alliance of egoistic excess and conspicuous self indulgence. . .conservative or liberal.
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! And as a corollary, Jack, which politically partisan group subscribes to the narcissistic idea that more is better and also, even with Biblical texts to the contrary, that it's impossible for one person to experience too much of a good thing. . .Republicans or Democrats?
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! Always them Democrats, ain't it Jack? And by the way, you're doing great! Here we go with the last question. Who believes that the best way to rise above is via the most expedient route--again contrary to Biblical text--which would be by clambering over the backs of the poor and the disadvantaged. . .Democrats or Republicans?
--Quiz Show Host-- Correct! There they go again. . .those miserable Donkey riders! It's our job is to find a way to remove them from power permanently, ain't it, Jack? Boy, we sure miss you, buddy. Just between you, me and the gatepost, you got a raw deal. You was railroaded, Jack. But we're waiting, pal. When you get out, things is gonna be a whole lot diff'rent.
--Contestant-- Well, that always was the aim, Billy, just as I've said many times, and I sure do appreciate all your support.
--Quiz Show Host-- Well you got it, Jack, and there's more good news. You've just carted off a ton of money by sweeping through our quickie round. I know it's not like the old days. This is after all a game show, Jack. . .not "K" Street (he-h, heh). Oops. . .hope I didn't overstep my bounds there, but good luck, buddy. Come back and see us any time.
--Contestant-- I'll be sure and do that. Thanks again.
--Quiz Show Host-- That was Jack. . .he looks good, doesn't he? The scowl is gone. I don't think I'd a' recognized him on the street. George. . .introduce us to our next guest.